Thread: LDR Drama

Hey all. This is going to be tl;dr, but I'm not sure I can adequately explain the situation any other way. I'm not looking for any "lol LDRs suck they never work out you're an idiot" replies, okay? I'm well past that at this point.

So.. I am (or was?) in (what I thought was) a very serious, committed, and happy long distance relationship for a year and a half. Everything had been working out fine.. I was never given any reason to doubt that she was just as serious as me- we had plans to meet up in person this summer, there were birthday and anniversary presents, there were literally days spent on the phone, etc. A lot of time and energy wasted for something that's a 'joke,' right? So I was sure we were both on the same page, and that she wasn't lying to me. She'd never given me any reason not to trust her, not once in a year and a half. We were even close friends before we started dating, so that adds something, too. And all of our mutual friends (and my own friends) thought we were the 'best couple ever.' So it's not like anyone at all had suspicions or doubt, about either of us.

Anyway, in May for some reason we went from talking every day to talking only twice that entire month. She just wasn't around, and wouldn't answer her phone. She said it was because of migraines and feeling antisocial. Fair enough, I get that way sometimes too and I get migraines. I still didn't understand why that meant we couldn't talk at least a little more, but I let it go. The last time I spoke to her, at the end of May, she was reassuring me [when I asked] that she wasn't upset with me, that she still loved me, and of course she was still visiting this summer. It turns out that she won't be able to visit as soon as I'd hoped, and as we were discussing this our phone connection died.

Now, her phone is completely dead. For about a month it was changing between ring signal/busy signal/"this phone is unavailable" and "this phone is turned off." This led me to believe it was breaking or there was a problem with the wires down on her end. Now, it's a constant busy signal. She hasn't returned my emails or my snail mail. So it's been a month and a half since I've heard anything from her at all.

I know that most likely the first thing you're thinking is that she's breaking up with me or has found someone else. But the thing is, you CAN get to truly know people even if it's long distance, and she is just not the kind of person to be that cruel. She's had people break up with her via silent treatment, she knows how much it sucks, and she's promised she would never do that to me- we've discussed it, I know if she was staying away on purpose, she would tell me so. I also know that she honestly did care about me.. you can't fake it that well for that long, can you? Also, she hasn't been in touch with any of our mutual friends, either. So it's not just me, it's a lot of people that haven't heard from her.

All of which makes me think this is more likely to be something like.. she's in the hospital, or she's having severe financial problems.. both of which have happened before, just not for this length of time. But I also realize that I'm way too close to the situation and have lost all ability to be objective, and I could very well just be grasping at straws at this point. I don't know anymore.

So, you guys. What do you make of all this? Am I doing the right thing by trusting her and believing she'll come back, or the stupid thing?