Thread: Our sex lives...

No, you shouldn't stop caring. Yes, you should be worried. I'm not sure on the birth control thing, but it is a possibility. I'm not sure being extra sweet and trying to bond with her would help.

I've been in a relationship where we stopped having sex. The lack of sex may have caused our other problems....or our other problems caused the lack of sex. Looking back on the relationship, a huge problem was that we let ourselves get distracted. He would be on the computer, I'd be watching TV...and then I'd go to bed before him while he stayed on the computer. I think both of us would think, "Okay, there's always tomorrow." And we got into this horrible rut that we couldn't get out of.

Sex is a huge deal. I would suggest getting into couples therapy ASAP.

This is going to sound harsh, so pardon me in advance. From your post it is hard to tell if she ever really had multiple orgasms. Do you know the physical signs of orgasms? Women will often fake it for the sake of their husband/mate/boyfriend. Especially if they don't know any better. If this is the case, she could simply be tired of faking it.

take a vacation someplace nice = problem sloved

Damn Deja-Vu ... We ended up breaking up after two years, now granted we weren't married or I would have asked for counseling if we were..

Originally Posted by Anon

Should I stop caring about it so much?

No
If she is happy, then you should be too. Why should you have to 'settle' for a relationship that isn't making you happy?

Originally Posted by Anon

Should I be extra sweet to her and try to re-bond with her on a higher level then we are on?

There are two people in your relationship, so if there is a problem it involves both of you.
So why should you be the only person making the effort? Do you feel that you can't talk to her honestly about how you are feeling?

Originally Posted by Anon

I'm so frustrated!

I'm not surprised!

You're going to have to talk to her about it, that's the only answer. You said you have date night 2-3 times per month, so one night over dinner just bring it up. That's when my husband and I talk about important relationship things. There are times in relationships when the sex gets slow and it can have nothing to do with either one of you. Stress at work, stress over finances, stress over kids...

Not that you shouldn't take note of these things and deal with them - but if you have a good relationship, then a conversation and some initiative should be enough to handle whatever the problem is. If you attempt to talk about it and she brushes you off - THAT is when you know you have a bigger problem.

Like Narrowrule said, communication is the key. Instead of talking about it on some web forum you should talk about it with YOUR WIFE.

Originally Posted by Anon

Should I be extra sweet to her and try to re-bond with her on a higher level then we are on?

That, you definitely should do.