Thread: Insecure?

A flirting escapade? is that really a problem?
Lets not jump from someone who likes to flirt a little, to a ho. I don't think flirting automatically means she'll cheat.
I think that maybe very good looking people are used to getting feedback about it. She's used to people hitting on her 5 times a day, and flirting is just how she responds to it. personally i wouldn't be worried about it.
If it was someone less attractive, and they didn't get hit on very often, I'd be worried about that, because it would be a rare situation, and they might not know what to do. Anyway, that's my theory.

however, don't think that being physically attractive means you are above being cheated on.
And i'll skip eating off your chest. That doesn't sound appealing.

Get more more selfesteem, and be glad that you two are together. If you act like you are in your last sentance, then she will get tired of your lame ass and leave you.

Originally Posted by Fruity

A flirting escapade? is that really a problem?
Lets not jump from someone who likes to flirt a little, to a ho. I don't think flirting automatically means she'll cheat.
I think that maybe very good looking people are used to getting feedback about it. She's used to people hitting on her 5 times a day, and flirting is just how she responds to it. personally i wouldn't be worried about it.
If it was someone less attractive, and they didn't get hit on very often, I'd be worried about that, because it would be a rare situation, and they might not know what to do. Anyway, that's my theory.

however, don't think that being physically attractive means you are above being cheated on.
And i'll skip eating off your chest. That doesn't sound appealing.

hehe sorry. I didn't mean to sound like a muscular pea brained jock and I didn't really mean everybody wants eat off my chest literally either. though some like it lol. Im a nice guy I don't take things too seriously and I don't think I look too good to be cheated on either.

Currently as we are today she is 36 and I am 25. Her age is very misleading, though older in age she looks like she is in her early 20's Literally! she has a personality and body of a 20yr old its fantastic! I don't consider her a hoe. I love her so much, I know that if we take this relationship to marriage (which we have been seriously considering) she really has to stop this flirting, used to it or not. IMO a successful relationship is not one that has flirting with everybody that flirts with you behind your mates back. A successful marriage has to have boundaries and rules that work both ways. Running wild like animals sniffing butt holes and mating with males/females in the jungles of the amazon will not work.

We all know the Sex Game I assume? Flirting with someone who flirts back will almost definitely always seal the deal with sex. plain and simple. This is my worry and my burden. What can I do? I love her so much. She seems like she's trying and it just destroys me to have these thoughts going through my head constantly but it also destroys me that sometimes I see her flirt back with guys.

I am not some noobish virgin that had my heart taken and acting paranoid. I've had literally hundreds of females through out my life, puppy love and even what I thought was real love. I've liked the sex and personalities but this is different. I'm not sure why I also want to say that I believe I'm a very logical person, No depression and I've always known what I wanted in life but this has my mind turning.

what do you guys think?

Originally Posted by Lioness

Get more more selfesteem, and be glad that you two are together. If you act like you are in your last sentance, then she will get tired of your lame ass and leave you.

That's has run through my mind plenty. But we need a solid foundation before we move on to marriage.

I think you need to let her be herself.
This is coming from Miss Flirt. And I am engaged to most wonderful guy. He doesn't necessarily LIKE that I flirt, but he knows it's harmless, so it doesn't really bother him.

You need to stop thinking about flirting as something that leads to sex. In my case, it NEVER leads to sex, and that's okay, because I've got my man. You men take flirting way too seriously, it's reeally just harmless fun.

Edit add:
You fell for her, right? For who she is? So why would you want to change her and what you fell in love with??

Maybe the way we see flirting and what she is actually doing is different. But i flirt every day. With my colleagues and people at other agencies i work with. The person behind the check out at the shop. Random people i encounter during the day. Maybe the difference is that I'm not ridiculously attractive, so its just flirting, and there isn't any real threat of anyone following through with it. I don't believe that flirting results in sealing the deal for sex. I think it makes the day easier, it gets you better service. I know the guy at the travel agent remembers talking to me and is more likely to remember to pass on my message to the person i want to talk to. I know it brightens the day of people stuck during a long day at work. Sometimes i flirt with people i'm never going to see again and sometimes its with my best friend . None of it is anything to worry about.

But you are probably right about boundaries? Have you communicated your concerns to her? Told her how it makes you feel? I don't know if it will help though, because i think that flirting is almost instinctive, sometimes. But if she's aware of it, she might be able to not do it so extensively.

Flirting is instictive definitely. I always get told I'm "such a flirt" when I don't even realise I've been flirting. It's just who I am.

heeh, its a trust thing but its also a willing ness to compromise with your partner or lack of i have the same problem that your having but in reverse, my wife doesnt like when i talk to girls i used to flirt with.

Just because every woman you have flirted with has slept with you doesn't mean that they sleep with every man who flirts with them. I haven't slept with anyone that i've flirted with. I don't know if i ever had. I suppose i must have flirted with my husband once upon a time, but i can't remember it, it was that long ago.
also, its just as likely that these women don't respect you just as much and your just some dick to ride and get off on. Men who sleep with women, just because they can, are no better than the women.

So, did you say yes to this proposal? Congratulations! Although, surely being in love is some sort of requisite.

Originally Posted by Anon

I can definitely agree with you on getting you better deals and so forth, But I think It would only be okay when you are single or in need of something very important excluding sex. No offense to you beautiful ladies out there but women who flirt excessively with men will receive less respect whether we decide to tell you or not. Its fact based on me and my buddies women sexcapaids! Not a real word I know but so far It has not failed us. Women who do not flirt are actually more attractive and if the woman decides to push anyone of us away there's no harm done. I would walk away proud that whoever has that woman has a real woman and be done with it. I sure do love my woman.

almost everything you just said is bogues... no guy cares about weather you flirt or not the only thing we care about is if we know you intrested in us or not and what kinda relationship your looking for... there is only a few things that will change a guys view on weather or not to keep you or dump you.. 1 sex is good. 2 your respectful. 3 you love us more then we love you cause we dont wanna get hurt.. 4 you can clean up after us 5 your fun to be around most of the time.. 6 you let us hangout with our friends and family and dont give us crap about it. if your a girl and you can do those things and look good doing them.. dont think your gonna get dumped course the guy has to see something in you for you to get time to prove that you can do these things and im pretty sure its kinda the same for you girls you dont want some guy thats blah...