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Reply With QuoteYea its great sometimes. But sometimes at the end of the day all you want is sumone to go to and cuddle up with and just talk to like a boyfriend
*jem gets her teddy*
Looks like I am stuck with my teddy bear
The Silver Lining
When I was thinking about this I decided that to discus the downside of being single at any length was a futile effort. We all know the realities of it. There are the lonely times when couples seem to appear everywhere you look, the times you would all but give your right arm to feel another's arms around you. And of course we all know what it is like to try to find new things to do on the weekends. I don't think I really need to ramble on ad nauseum about the lack of a regular supply of physical "affection" either. The reality is, for whatever reason, you are single. Whether it is for a prolonged period and you're "taking a break" or you are in-between partners. The bad moods come and the bad moods go and you carry on regardless.
Since the negative aspects are so apparent I think it is more appropriate for me to devote my time and energy into finding that proverbial silver lining. (I am told that that can be one of my most annoying traits so I might as well put it to good use.) I have honestly discovered that there are many good things about being single. I can almost hear the snorts of derision from the lonely and heartbroken among you, but bear with me. I know of what I speak.
First there is the freedom. You are completely free to follow your own inclinations. You need not consult anyone or explain yourself if you wish to throw yourself into something. You have the opportunity to cultivate your own interests (which in turn will help define you further as a person). Another aspect of this freedom is that your time is your own. You do not have to worry about sitting through that movie or sporting event you would rather not see. If you want to hang out with your friends you can. No questions asked. To some this may seem a little selfish or indulgent, but you can pretty much do what you want, when you want with whom you want. My take is that, hey, if you're single your responsibility pretty much begins and ends with you. Sometimes that's a really nice thing.
Without getting too philosophical, the time you spend being single is a great time for self-discovery. This is the time when you can delve into that great big ocean that is you, swim around and take a peak at what is lying beneath the surface. When we are involved with another it is often hard to balance "self-help projects" with the needs of the relationship. So now is a good time to grab the wrench and tinker under the hood (to use a blatantly masculine metaphor). In the end of it all you will take with you a better understanding of how you work as a person and will therefore be better able to handle things that come your way in the future.
Self-reliance. There is no greater test of an individual person's metal than to face the issues in your life alone. (Yes there are challenges in a partnership - cooperation, compromise and all of those other things we were supposed to learn about in kindergarten, but that is not my focus here.) It is not always easy, but there are great rewards to handling things by yourself. The feeling of confidence and self-assurance cannot come from any other source. You need to be able to take care of yourself and there is no better way to learn how than being single.
And lastly, your time alone is your time to pamper yourself. Give yourself the things you would normally not take time for. Whether it be rewarding yourself with a trinket you have been eyeing or giving yourself a trip to the day spa. If you can't have a significant other to spoil you, then you might as well do it yourself.
So there you have it. Being single isn't all that bad. After all we can't just jump from one person to the next without any time off, can we? Well there's always one that can, but for the rest of us we have our times that we must spend alone and at least we know it's not all bad. After all every cloud does have a silver lining.
Yea its great sometimes. But sometimes at the end of the day all you want is sumone to go to and cuddle up with and just talk to like a boyfriend
*jem gets her teddy*
hey there
you r right there are alot tof good things about being single that i am only just beginning to discover.
Having just broken up with my boyfriend of 2 years i forgot how much fun it can be to pamper youself, go out without worrying what someone else is up to or might think, doing things spur of the moment because YOU CAN.
Its nice to be selfish once in a while.
And as for cuddling up i know its not the same but i have some really great male friends (amd female) who are willing to give me cuddles etc whenever i may need them.
i have really started to realise how great my friend really are!!!!
enjoy yourself and you friends, relationships are kind of an extension of your happiness you should be happy being with youself before you commit to someone. Dont ever get into one becuse you are lonely - just date its more fun!!!!
Ok after all that rambling (that went of subject i better go)
Love and peace - remember be true to you!!!!!!
Don't you think that being single, especially for a while or spending more time single then not, would make a person less toleorant of others?
Like you get set in your ways and become less flexible.
Thats true. Staying single does have its advantages but you do tend to get intolerant to people after a while.
I have been single for a while after a two and a half years of a relationship. It sucked initially, but now, its heaven. I am really loving all the freedom that I have, the savings that I have, the shopping I can do, the amount of times I can just hang around with the guys - its wonderful! No doubt about that. But then, now I just cannot tolerate some people anymore. I dont like people asking me my plans at all. Its like its me and me and only me who should be concerned about me. Its my life! Dont fucking ask me where I go, what I do or whatever!
I know I am sounding like an obnoxious self-absorbed creature but hey, I am single and I am loving it!
Like I said before, the advantage is the freedom. The disadvantage could be me!
I'm glad I'm single. I had a girlfriend for about 6 months, and the whole experience was negative. Maybe she just wasn't the right girl, or maybe I'm just too independent to be able to love someone like I should.
Like I said, I'm independent. I'm enjoying every minute that I'm alone. Why? A lot of people get on my nerves. Whether it's a friend or family member that I've spent too much time with, or a girl that I get so close to that I can't handle how dependent she is on me, it just gets to me.
I love freedom. That's what I get when I'm single. Nobody to tell me what to do, nobody to keep me from kissing a girl that I like. It's great.
When I go to college I'm sure I'll find a great girl, one that isn't a total bitch.
I don't even see it as a silver lining.I think it's graet.Wow.Didn't think I would ever say that.
I read in Time magazine about a month ago in an article titled ,"The science of happiness", that most people who get into relationships eventually revert back to the level of happiness they had before the relationship.
I think people who desperately need a relationship are trying to use a relationship as a fix all or a happy distraction at the very least.
To people who are having a dificult time being single I suggest filling your life up with things you enjoy or partaking in worthy endevours.After a while those couples you see start bothering you less and less.
Ruby the part you said about getting to know yourself is dead on.I know it sounds like some touchy feely bull shit but it is true.I am enjoying being around me.Reading, learning, dancing, running.It's like meeting a cool friend you get to hang out with 24 hours a day and you have everything in common.Okay I admit that sounds gay.Oh well I know what I'm talking about at least.
I guess when you have self validation, relationships are still great, but they're just not a necesity.
i ahve been single tooo many years... years
i liked it up until a month or so ago and now im workin on findin someone who i can settle down with a little bit and dont have to worry about all the drama in the single life.
yah. i recently had a sort-of relationship where i convinced myself that i was a single-lovin' girl who didnt 'do' relationships. now i am dumped and alone and i really really want him back. *sniff*
but. i do enjoy being able to hook up with randoms at parties. that is the greatness about being single.
Drama of single life? There's a lot more drama in a relationship, believe me.
The way I see it, as hard as it may seem--coming from me anyways--is that there is more to life r=than being in a relationship or single--just the way we live our lives matter.
Well I'm defintely dating outta highschool. Self-discovery has lead me to a few things....highschool dating looks silly and contrived. Also there is very little market for boys anyway, seeing as I have only 45 people in my year and most have partners too.
having just found this site i am glad to be hearing this. i have been in 2 long relationships since 16 and 4 years later i am single for the first time. imagine what i am going throughi am just going to be me and that very thought makes me happy,
but one thing i miss is having some one you could tell ANYTHING! to friends don't cut it, sometimes there are things only the closest person in your life can know.
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