Thread: Rich vs. Poor

He's dating you.

He's not shallow enough to only be attracted to rich girls.

Don't worry about it, just have fun. He probably actually likes you!

Yeah, I don't see what the problem is. Don't discriminate against him because he's not poor like the rest of us.

My oldest friend, the gal I've known and been friends with for like 10 years, is kinda poor. Her dad's company went bankrupt when she was little, and her mum has some disability in her arm so she can't work. They mainly live from social support, and from what her dad gets from randomly fixing up cars. I got to know to her pretty much right after moving back to Finland cuz she lives next to my grandma's house, where we were living at first. We've been friends the entire time we've known each other, minus like half a year/a year when we were 11, when I was kicked out of our posse and she hadn't yet. She got kicked out the next, and our ex best friend, the bullying bitch was getting all her asslicking wannabe friends to bully her about being poor. I thought that was really low and stupid and we quickly made up and became friends again.
My family is middle class. Upper middle class, maybe. The class differances are WAY smaller here thanks to the massive taxes and great social support system. Our class differance never got in the way of our friendship, although it did make me feel uncomfortable at times, like when her dad once mentioned something about me always eating dinner at their place (we'd always go to their place first, have dinner, spend some time there and then go over to our place... and eat dinner again. Every day after school, when we were kids.). After that I started checking with her if it's ok that I stay for the dinner and she'd always say "of course". But I still felt a bit bad about it. We've never even talked about the "class differance". But I sometimes got the feeling she felt bad about being poor, especially when those idiots bullied her. And my entire life, I've never once felt proud about having money. On the contrary, I've felt bad about it. My parents both were in poorish, working class families when they were kids, so they did their best in teaching us that money doesn't matter. That it doesn't make anyone better. I've had that belief installed in me as long as I can remember. We never even bought a new car or a house because my mother was very strict that she didn't want to brag about having money, and my parents would rather spend their money on travelling.

I dunno what's my point. Rich or poor, I know I couldn't be interested in someone who makes a big deal about money or property. I fucking hate it when people argue about money. I hate it when money matters too much to people. I hate even talking about money. There's nothing worse than those stinking rich bastards who think they're above everybody else simply because they have money. I can't understand that kinda thinking. It's not like money is a part of anyone. Maybe I'm too used to having everything I need, but I know from personal experience that money can't and doesn't make you happy.

Aagh, wtf am I saying... Ghetto, I know how class differances can bother ya sometimes. But I think it'd be for the best to just ignore them. Your bf sounds pretty great, not making a deal about it. You should follow his example.

His mom sounds like a typical gold digger.
When you marry this guy, cut all her face out of all the photos in your family albums.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. If he really doesn't make a big deal out of it, like you say he doesn't, it wont take long before you dont really even notice anymore. It's just because its new, and so different. If however, he starts throwing it in your face that he bought you this, or that, or paid for this or that, hightail it fast. Dont ever let him hold his money against you.

But if he's really okay with it and is a good guy, you wont have to deal with it. And his mom to me, doesnt seem like a golddigger, she just seems niave. Like she was born and raised rich. She just doesn't understand how you cant afford to go to harvard (or wherever) and fix up your car because she's never been there. I think if she were a gold digger, she'd be snooty and not even give you the time of day to have those conversations. She just doesn't get it, I dont think.

I can kind of relate, from the opposite side of things. I was left with a ton of money, and my boyfriend's been independant since he was 16. No hard feelings or anything with his family, he's just always been a "Do it myself, ask for no help" type of guy. So when we met he was working his ass off, barely paying the bills and living in a trailer. He seemed really uncomfortable around me anytime money came up, or we came to my house or it came time to pay for something. But that went away pretty quickly once he realised I dont flash my money around, or spend it friviously on everything any chance I get. If your boyfriend(friend) doesn't make a big deal out of the money, you'll forget it and become comfortable in no time.

Rent Sixteen Candles.

Watch it until it sinks in.

And his MOM. Holy dang. So i have a piece of a shit car, right. And somehow, i dont know how, we got on the topic of my car, and everything that's wrong with it and she could not understand how you just can't afford to fix a car despite the risks. I wasn't too embarassed, really, because i have no reason to be. But it's just really frustrating... Same with a college discussion, she knows i have a 4.0 and whatnot and so she was like saying how i could be going to all these great schools and Im just like "yeah right..."
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Is his family new money or old money? 'Cos if they're old money, it's not all that surprising that she can't comprehend not having much. If it's a new money thing, then I'd be more concerned that she's taking potshots at you. Not that it matters either way, because he's with you, and she really doesn't have to like it. Unless he's a mama's boy, in which case you're better off without anyway.

Rent Sixteen Candles.

Watch it until it sinks in.
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Fuck Sixteen Candles - watch 'Sense and Sensibilities'. Ghetto Onion and Ms.Dashwood are almost in the exact same situation. Except for the whole Victorian England thing.

As much as I love Sixteen Candles, I never really understood the whole romance aspect. Jake Ryan finds out that some homely virginal sophomore wants to nail him and he's all intrigued. So he decides to go after her, and he makes a birthday cake for her and they kiss on his glass table, even though they've literally never spoken. And because his kink is virgins instead of skanks, we're supposed to think he's some great guy?

And as long as this topic is turning into movie recommendations, watch the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice. Not because it has that much to do with your situation, but because it seriously kicks ass.

How about the motherfucking golddigging comments to boot. Jesus christ. I wasn't all up on him, he asked me out, he liked me, i wasn't even going to go after him because i honestly thought he was out of my league.

Now everybody wont stop giving me shit saying im dating him for his car. Whatever. I dont care, but c'mon, this shit gets old really fast. I dont have the patience to deal with these fuckers

Boohoo. You have a happy relationship and your boyfriend has a nice car.

Haha. Life is hard.