Thread: Knowing You'll Fall in Love With Someone

Well anything is possible, but what do you really know about the person after the first few hours, excpet what they are like on the surface??

For other people, maybe. For you, no.

You're going to get tired of her in 2 weeks. How have you not noticed a pattern yet?

I think this kind of ties in with my whole fantasy idea. For some people it can be a real problem.

Originally posted by vanilla_sunset@Jun 25 2004, 11:34 AM
Actually... when I met my current guy I had a feeling I would fall in love with him eventually
And now here I am
Just call me smitten

Although, sometimes if you have that feeling you have a tendancy to rush things and almost force them. Its like if you think a piece to a puzzle will fit, you try and force it in and it never works out.

My pont is that sometimes it can be a wonderful thing, but sometimes it just won't work out. You need to know how to accept the latter situation. And be careful, don't just go on your instinct at first, things (and people) change.

so how many times have you had that feeling and it didn't happen?

I have this feeling that tomorrow at some point I am going to take a drive to the gas station. It may or may not happen though.

I mean seriously who goes into a possible relationship thinking, this has no chance of working out because I can't stand being around this person.

You know, Spike, and others who respond to me just like him. Maybe I should just stop coming to this site. I had a feeling that this was going to be the response I got. Perhaps more people would come to this site and actually stay here if people didn't go completely out of their way to make other people feel like shit. I don't come here to get advice so that I can hear what I want, but I also don't come here to have things thrown in my face by people that I had once even respected on this site. If any of you were actually worth getting advice from, you wouldn't do that. So tell me, here and now, is it even worthy my while to come here anymore, or, as I think this is going to work out, are you going to throw this back in my face too?

I used to think that I would fall in love with everyone I met practically. I have a majorly overactive imagination about these things. Josh, it just seems to me that you have these feelings about every single girl you talk to and yet you never fall in love. Why is that, do you think?

It also seems like you're pretty stubborn in refusing to acknowledge this pattern.

EDIT: Of course that's what you're going to hear from me when you get on here. You tell the exact same story EVERY SINGLE TIME you ask for advice. Every single time you have these completely overdone fantasies about the new girl in your life, you write a melodramatic story about how great she is and how meaningful it all is, and every single time you get tired of her within two months, off to find the next girl who really is the perfect one. Yes. From me you will always hear this. Other people have a different take on it, so listen to their posts. Or, I'll just stop replying to your posts until you acknowledge what's been going on with you for over 2 years now.

It might be possible that it has been many long months since I had even posted in this site, and at this age that's actually a time in which a lot of change can happen. For your information, although I hate to dredge back through painful memories, I was in a relationship for a few months earlier this year. The girl ended it in January. And despite how much I wanted to go back to my normal pattern, which I do acknowledge once existed, I could not. The whole thing was too painful. I grew up a little bit.

So, grow up.

Why did she end it?

I don't really know. She didn't even really know. I tried talking to her about it so many times, and finally I just realized that the relationship in the first place was not at all what I had imagined it to be. Things caught up with me. I remember asking her best friend later on, "When did she get like this?" And his answer was that she's always been like this. It doesn't matter why she ended it. It doesn't even really matter that she ended it that made it hurt so much. It hurt because I realized what had been going on for so long. Everything just hit me, and I felt and still feel dumb that it took all that time in a relationship and in so many relationships beforehand that I was searching, and that's not what I should be doing.

You're such a drag, Devi.

Originally posted by Josh SV CC@Jun 25 2004, 12:05 PM
Finally I just realized that the relationship in the first place was not at all what I had imagined it to be. Things caught up with me. I remember asking her best friend later on, "When did she get like this?" And his answer was that she's always been like this.

OK, let's just review. You say that you acknowledge that this pattern has existed where you get infatuated with a girl in the beginning, and then get tired of her, or realize she wasn't who you thought she was, and end the relationship. The above quote nicely displays that line of reasoning. You were head over heels for her, she ended it and doesn't know why, you finally realized that you were in a relationship with a fantasy and not with who she actually was. (which is probably why she ended it, if I may be honest, because she felt like you were thinking of her as something she wasn't and it made her uncomfortable).

Now, you come on this website and say "Do you think you can know you're going to fall in love with someone after spending only a few hours with them?"

Excuse me, but is this not the exact same thing you did to this girl before that you now claim to regret so deeply? Building her up into something she wasn't only to find out after you're in the relationship that she's not what you wanted?

How can I in good conscience not say something when you're clearly so oblivious to what's going on? Somebody has to cool you down when you get started on your fantasies, and it might as well be me. Believe it or not, me throwing a wet blanket on you and "making you feel like shit" is the only thing that's going to help you avoid the pattern you've fallen into with every girl you've dated.

I welcome somebody else to present the opposite side of the argument here, because I literally can not see how I could be wrong. I'll admit it if I am, I promise.