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Reply With QuoteNever have your elbows on the table while eating
A sampling of wisdom I have gained in my life:
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Learn a musical instrument. Music is what separates us from the beasts, and even if you can only half-assed play it, it can still get you laid. Think back to any campfire where someone is playing Crash by Dave Matthews or a Jack Johnson tune. That guy was having disgusting sooty campground sex at some point in the evening.
When on two wheels, never use the front brake first.
Never date the first person you fuck in college.
If you take it up late enough in life, smoking can be very satisfying.
Sometimes a beating is the only way to get your point across.
Never shove a man with a hand inside his jacket.
While using glow in the dark condoms, wait at least two minutes after holding it up to a light bulb before putting it on.
Never use bleach to kill athlete's foot.
Your Iphone does not impress me.
There are two types of Hunter Thompson fans: Those that have read The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved, and those that have only watched Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
Nixon was a dickhead.
A two week tour of Canada is not the time to bring along a friend - who had previously walked in on his girlfriend and your guitar player making out - for healing.
You can gauge your friends by the number of times they expected you to come through for them versus the number of times they've come through for you.
Do not move in with the first person you fuck after college.
Potpourri is sometimes your friend.
You never have to be the fastest; only the second-slowest.
Hold your breath and squeeze. Never pull.
There is no correct answer when asked how many partners you've had.
Always keep a shovel in your car. You just never know.
The Maginot Line was a dumb idea.
You can't just dive in: You have to pile up around the outside and let it breathe, like a catfish.
Never shake hands with your left hand in the Middle East.
Being spoken to in Russian during sex is very hot.
Never pick a fight in flip-flops.
Never have sex with a girl who smacks her gum.
Your favorite band sucks.
Life can be shitty, but with a little whisky it goes down smooth.
Creamed corn is for quitters.
You can gauge the greatness of a bar by the number of polo shirts inside.
Leaning back in your chair is a sign of a strong hand. Leaning forward and staring at the flop is a sign of weakness.
Do not buy penny stocks.
I'm just mad about Saffron.
Put the fork down.
Tracers point both ways.
Never fall asleep during a blowjob.
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I'll post more as they come to me.
Originally Posted by emsgrl
Never have your elbows on the table while eating
"You just can't go wrong if you follow your heart and end with a song"
Awards:
read as much as possible.
keep a journal.
never blow on the tip too hard.
cheese makes you irregular.
shut the fuck up.
it takes less time to manually wash dishes, than it does for the dishwasher to cycle.
always shave before drinking. you never know.
do not cut your own hair after drinking. you never know.
drinking: "you never know."
it's a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown.
'Cause I'm that fool that broke the key- I'm unlockable so don't check me- I got weight on my shoulders and things on my mind- The sky is falling and I'm falling behind... No shame in my game just par for the path- I try to hone my craft because at hand's the task- But I find I'm not playing with a full deck- I'm up to my neck like Toulouse Lautrec
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (sprankified @ Sep 8 2008, 12:12 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>Are these all lessons you learned last night?read as much as possible.
keep a journal.
never blow on the tip too hard.
cheese makes you irregular.
shut the fuck up.
it takes less time to manually wash dishes, than it does for the dishwasher to cycle.
always shave before drinking. you never know.
do not cut your own hair after drinking. you never know.
drinking: "you never know."
it's a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown.[/b]
Teh colors of SB.
women are fucking crazy
2:05 AM [Lothar] kinda like beef stew but they use guinness
2:05 AM [Greaser] and it gets your dick hard?
2:05 AM [Lothar] yeah, it's that good
Don't fart after anal sex unless your pants are down or you're wearing somebody elses undies.
If you meet someone and you already have doubts, don't go there.
Do not apply body spray after you shave your pits.
There is no secret or magic potion to anything. Just fucking do it.
Always allow yourself private time to do what makes you feel good. Beat off, listen to music, beat off listening to music, It's all good.
Kiss lots. Kissing is fucking stella.
I firmly believe you don't grow old until you allow yourself to. Immaturity is grossly underrated. Children are amazing for that very reason. Fart jokes can make someones day!
Daydream.
Wear sunscreen.
Listen to your body. It tells you what it wants.
Don't respect your elders if they're old, rude, ungrateful ****s. Treat everyone as they deserve to be treated.
If something screams you, Buy it!!!!
Money is only a means to an end. Find a balance.
Be selfish sometimes. It's okay to put yourself first.
Sweet as the Punch.Syco- "The Empress is the latter leg of this triad, representing the physical body and the material world. From her comes all the pleasure of the senses and the abundance of life in all its forms. She is also the mother archetype, and through her we get a first glimpse of the power of love in the Tarot." I think this is all representative of awesomly large tits, no?
Not sure how long I am going to live. Pretty sure how long I will be dead though.
Ayuh, not dead yet. Might change that with an S1000RR though
I did a topic similar to this a couple years ago. Here it is. It's weird to read the ones that I wrote. I'm so bitter now compared to back then. Haha.
- I firmly believe in educating yourself before making decisions. There's a vast amount of information and it doesn't make sense to go into anything uninformed.
- All the cliche shit that people say is cliche for a reason. Most of it has quite a bit of truth to it!
- People don't like to kiss you if you have Carmex on your lips.
- Using coupons effectively is a very complicated process.
That's all for now. I'm tired.
10:21 PM [TheMadCatter] I got free shipping, 20 dollars off, and a free tote bag12:26 AM [smirk] i think blended margaritas taste good sometimes(11:44:55 PM) Onionman: I was watching oprah...Personman says (3:16 AM):So I'm not girl like enough for you?
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (devils_lil_angel @ Sep 8 2008, 10:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>Why?Never have your elbows on the table while eating[/b]
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (personman @ Sep 9 2008, 01:25 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (devils_lil_angel @ Sep 8 2008, 10:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>Why?Never have your elbows on the table while eating[/b]
[/b][/quote]
It is just rude it all.
Well it might not be really rude, but my dad always said it wasn't proper, so he would stab us with a fork if we had our elbows on the table while eating.
Here's some more life lessons:
- Be able to laugh at yourself
- If something seems like a bad idea, it probably is
- Never let someone else dictate who you are
- If someone is too good to be true, they probably are
- Sometimes you just need to dance
"You just can't go wrong if you follow your heart and end with a song"
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (devils_lil_angel @ Sep 10 2008, 01:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>Oh, bullshit!- If someone is too good to be true, they probably are[/b]
Sweet as the Punch.Syco- "The Empress is the latter leg of this triad, representing the physical body and the material world. From her comes all the pleasure of the senses and the abundance of life in all its forms. She is also the mother archetype, and through her we get a first glimpse of the power of love in the Tarot." I think this is all representative of awesomly large tits, no?
Never try to push a car uphill alone. Even if it is a slight incline.
Your mind can only hold one thought at a time. Make it a positive and constructive one.
~ H. Jackson Brown Jr.
kudos for the maginot line wisdom
Tomorrow is another day, sleep on anything important before making an irreversible decision
if you make something sound wise by splitting two statements within a sentence by means of a comma and using some long words, people will often believe it's wise
(or, people are gullible, keep in mind this probably means you are gullible)
you don't fully understand anything you've only seen from one side
it's nice to be nice
always be prepared to break a rule
try not to make a habit of it.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Syco @ Sep 9 2008, 02:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (devils_lil_angel @ Sep 10 2008, 01:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>Oh, bullshit!- If someone is too good to be true, they probably are[/b]
[/b][/quote]
I don't mean that they aren't still a good person, or that they are up to no good. I just meant if you meet someone who seems to have everything, they probably don't. Or if you meet the "perfect" girl/guy and you two agree on everything, and you cannot find one thing at all that annoys you, it might even be a stupid habit, like nail picking, then they are proabably not as perfect as they seem, there is something that will irk you.
"You just can't go wrong if you follow your heart and end with a song"
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (devils_lil_angel @ Sep 10 2008, 07:27 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Syco @ Sep 9 2008, 02:29 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (devils_lil_angel @ Sep 10 2008, 01:37 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>Oh, bullshit!- If someone is too good to be true, they probably are[/b]
[/b][/quote]
I don't mean that they aren't still a good person, or that they are up to no good. I just meant if you meet someone who seems to have everything, they probably don't. Or if you meet the "perfect" girl/guy and you two agree on everything, and you cannot find one thing at all that annoys you, it might even be a stupid habit, like nail picking, then they are proabably not as perfect as they seem, there is something that will irk you.
[/b][/quote]
You don't have to justify yourself, I'm just saying that if you meet someone who's amazing to you then anything that is potentially unappealing will be irrelevant.
Sweet as the Punch.Syco- "The Empress is the latter leg of this triad, representing the physical body and the material world. From her comes all the pleasure of the senses and the abundance of life in all its forms. She is also the mother archetype, and through her we get a first glimpse of the power of love in the Tarot." I think this is all representative of awesomly large tits, no?
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