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This is called the laugh factory for a reason, you are supposed to post funny stuff.
That is spectacularly unfunny, it portrays men as stupid - which isn't funny or cool.
welcome to SB
gals take it easy...just for fun
1. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence. A LIFE sentence.
2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.
3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.
4. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOR listens.
6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.
7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.
9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.
13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
14. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.
15. Confucius says: man who sinks into woman's arm soon have arms in woman's sink.
16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
17. Eighty percent of married man cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.
18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
19. Marriage is when a man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.
21. I married Miss right, I just didn't know her first name was Always.
22. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.
23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
24. A man was complaining to a friend: I had it all - money, a beautiful house, the love of a beautiful woman, then...POW! It was all gone. What happened, asked his friend. He says: My wife found out.
25. Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lights on.
26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: Aren't you wearing your ring on the wrong finger? The other replied, Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.
27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.
28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
29. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.
<span style="font-family:Geneva">
Where ever u go...Leave ur Mark.>!!
Whether it's the best or the worst of the times it's the only time we got..!
so live life king-size...!! </span>
*yawn*
This is called the laugh factory for a reason, you are supposed to post funny stuff.
That is spectacularly unfunny, it portrays men as stupid - which isn't funny or cool.
welcome to SB
HERE COMES THE BABY KILLING TRAIN
CHHOOOOCHHOOO!!!
---------------
Saint
Canadian /b/tard
The New Horse
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, 'ALLLLEEE OOOP!' really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine."
The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers 'Aleeee ooop' in the horse's ear. The same thing happens--the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.
At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, "It's no good, I'll have to do it," and yells, "ALLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.
The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies, "Nothing is wrong with me--it's this bloody horse. What is he--deaf or something?"
The trainer replies, "Deaf?? DEAF?? He's not deaf--he's BLIND!"
<span style="font-family:Geneva">
Where ever u go...Leave ur Mark.>!!
Whether it's the best or the worst of the times it's the only time we got..!
so live life king-size...!! </span>
well done rebbie, well doneOriginally posted by rebbie@Nov 24 2003, 11:53 PM
*yawn*
This is called the laugh factory for a reason, you are supposed to post funny stuff.
That is spectacularly unfunny, it portrays men as stupid - which isn't funny or cool.
welcome to SB
welcome fun_rockerin
Teh colors of SB.
haha
that is funny
The gay community embraced me just as I was working through my own sexuality and gave me a safe place to deal with that. One night someone came to my father when I was playing at a bar called Mr. Henry's, and said, "How could you bring yur daughter to a gay club?" And he replied, "Well, she won't be going home with any of you!" --Tori Amos: Piece by Piece, Tori Amos
"I haven't ever really found a place that I call home"-- Dido "Life For Rent"
"Yeah we all know that demon has a mouth on him" --Jaydee
Life isn't fair, it's just fairer then death.
That was fairly funny. Loosen up rebbie, all jokes make fun of someone in some way or another. That's what makes them funny.
HAHAHA
Go away or shall i taunt you a second time?
"If you cant do it just BS your way through it!"
-The Jelly Doughnut
God save the Queen the Canadians are coming
There were two nuns...
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most? What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical
thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried
about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.
<span style="font-family:Geneva">
Where ever u go...Leave ur Mark.>!!
Whether it's the best or the worst of the times it's the only time we got..!
so live life king-size...!! </span>
A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.
The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"
"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this...when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better-your ear or your finger?"
<span style="font-family:Geneva">
Where ever u go...Leave ur Mark.>!!
Whether it's the best or the worst of the times it's the only time we got..!
so live life king-size...!! </span>
Ha thats a good one. Where did you find that one?
Go away or shall i taunt you a second time?
"If you cant do it just BS your way through it!"
-The Jelly Doughnut
God save the Queen the Canadians are coming
*giggle, would use rolling eyes smile, but apparently we haven't been equipped with that one yet*
Geneva, our lives have been bettered by you-camp song.
I *heart* Geneva Glen.
Originally posted by kittykat5790@Nov 27 2003, 08:22 PM
*giggle, would use rolling eyes smile, but apparently we haven't been equipped with that one yet*
Aww..that's a cute way of putting who enjoys sex better. I don't know if it's true, but it's still cute.
<span style="color:#00BFFF">It's hard to WAIT around for something that you know might NEVER happen, but it's even HARDER to give up especially when it's everything you ever WANTED.</span>
I guess that explains a thing or two about my thumb and my arse.
I feel good. Hehe
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