Says She's "Afraid" of It.

**Hira** · 01-03-2006 05:37 PM

Ok, me and my girlfriend are both 16 which i dont think is too young to be doing sexual things. We have both agreed that we arnt going to have sex anytime soon but that everything else is fine until we are ready to have sex. We have been going out for around a month and a half and i have done stuff like finger her and all that but when it comes to recieving anything i never get it.

The last time we were together she kinda just messed with it kinda sorta and she looked at it and all that but didnt really do anything to get me goin all the way. When i asked why not she said she was "afraid" of it and she kinda laughed. She has said this same thing a few times now.

I have asked her why and she always says stuff like "i dont know". I know she knows why but she wont tell me so i guess its up to me to figure this out and thats why i need help. The three things she has said about the situation in detail were that she didnt want to "hurt" it, that she feels stupid because she doesnt know what to do with it and said she would be bad at it, and I vaugely remember her sayin somethin about me jokein about her goin down on me and makeing her out to look like a whore or something.

im guessing she doesnt want to go down there not knowin what to do and i tried to tell her what to do the first time she said she was "afraid" of it and she didnt do anything.

I need opinions on why you think she would say this.

Help please. Thank you.

**Robbie** · 01-03-2006 07:00 PM

I'm assuming she's a virgin, then. Well if you've not done much sexual stuff, then obviously it's gonna be a bit 'scary' or whatever the first time you do it. You don't really know how it's gonna go, or how you're gonna be until you've tried it, and she's obviously worried that she's not going to be any good.

It could be that she thinks it might be quite embarrasing and unenjoyable if she didn't know what to do. She's probably afraid that it'll be awkward and might even be a bit worried that it could cause problems in your relationship, or even end it.

I don't know if you're still a virgin, but if you are then I'd imagine you can sympathise with her anxiety, and if not then I'm sure you can remember a time when you would have felt a similar thing. The only thing I can suggest is that if you can feel more and more comfortable with each other, know and trust each other as much as possible, then it'll be a lot less 'frightening' for her. That'll take a little bit of time, but it'll come eventually.

**Perfectly_Insane** · 01-03-2006 10:26 PM

My friend had this problem with a girl. I think what he did was just get her used to seeing it and touching it, and then finaly resorted to showing her a porno on oral sex. But yeah.....

**threesixmiller** · 01-07-2006 05:06 PM

Ok, me and my girlfriend are both 16 which i dont think is too young to be doing sexual things. We have both agreed that we arnt going to have sex anytime soon but that everything else is fine until we are ready to have sex. We have been going out for around a month and a half and i have done stuff like finger her and all that but when it comes to recieving anything i never get it.

The last time we were together she kinda just messed with it kinda sorta and she looked at it and all that but didnt really do anything to get me goin all the way. When i asked why not she said she was "afraid" of it and she kinda laughed. She has said this same thing a few times now.

I have asked her why and she always says stuff like "i dont know". I know she knows why but she wont tell me so i guess its up to me to figure this out and thats why i need help. The three things she has said about the situation in detail were that she didnt want to "hurt" it, that she feels stupid because she doesnt know what to do with it and said she would be bad at it, and I vaugely remember her sayin somethin about me jokein about her goin down on me and makeing her out to look like a whore or something.

im guessing she doesnt want to go down there not knowin what to do and i tried to tell her what to do the first time she said she was "afraid" of it and she didnt do anything.

I need opinions on why you think she would say this.

Help please. Thank you.
[/b]

I HATE THE "I dont know"s my EX ALWAYS DID THAT!!!!!! ARHGAethrsjrstjs

sorry just ranting.

Yeah she definitely is a virgin if she doesnt know what to do with it. Try explaining to her what is pleasurable for you and tell her not to worry about "hurting" it. My ex was down for messing but damn she was terrible at it....i dumped her ass bc she was annoying and i think she only wanted me to get in my pants haha.

**Sunshine** · 01-07-2006 05:12 PM

i'd say she's probably just afraid of being bad at something sexual. Explain to her that you care about her, and who cares if it isnt the best thing in the world the first time. This might sound awkward, but show her how. Also when she does do something for the first time, make sure to make comments about it. Compliment her and if you want point out what you think she could do to make it better...but do it in a nice way like "Hey i read online that ___ is great, do you want to try it?"

Hope she stops freaking out,
Manda

**hanna79993** · 01-07-2006 11:43 PM

you could always show her how you do it, it might relax her. or try holding her hand and putting it on ur penis and u moving it.

**smidsy85** · 01-11-2006 12:52 PM

What else have you done for her? Have you just fingered her or more? Maybe she wants you to go first and this may make her feel like she wants to return the favour??

Maybe do it infront of her and she might realse there is nothing to be scared of. Do what you feel comfortable with!

**Aphrodite5156** · 01-11-2006 01:21 PM

well, it's not the most attractive thing in the world to look at when you're young and you havn't seen your share of penises.

I mean, I've gotten used to it... but it is quite jarring right off the bat.

**Greener** · 01-11-2006 02:27 PM

I don't think she's necessarily 'afraid' of it. I think what she's afraid of is not knowing what to do. I'm sure she's never touched a penis before, so when it's finally there in front of her...she doesn't know exactly what to do with it. Next time, why don't you take her hand and be her guide. Show her what to do with it. Tell her how you like it. You can work on getting her to suck it later when she's more at ease, but first get her used to just playing with it with her hands.

**Saint** · 01-11-2006 02:36 PM

It's a natural reaction left over from a earlier stage in human evolution, when fierce sabre-toothed penises roamed the plains.

**savmotron** · 01-11-2006 02:47 PM

my ex had never given a bj before and was saying she was afraid to also, so we just got helza drunk one night and then walaa she did it. try that.

**Robbie** · 01-11-2006 02:58 PM

It's a natural reaction left over from a earlier stage in human evolution, when fierce sabre-toothed penises roamed the plains.
[/b]

**Garrett** · 01-11-2006 03:11 PM

Haha, am I weird thinking my penis looks awesome?

**Perfectly_Insane** · 01-11-2006 04:18 PM

my ex had never given a bj before and was saying she was afraid to also, so we just got helza drunk one night and then walaa she did it. try that.
[/b]

Lmao, isn't that like close to rape though? But I guess you were both drunk.

**smidsy85** · 01-11-2006 06:45 PM

Haha, am I weird thinking my penis looks awesome?
[/b]

No we all think your penis looks awesome its common knowledge

well, it's not the most attractive thing in the world to look at when you're young and you havn't seen your share of penises.

I mean, I've gotten used to it... but it is quite jarring right off the bat.

[/b]

How can it not be attractive? Only if you are a lover of women can it not be attractive. I think I’m right in thinking all women are secretly lesbians…

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