Thread: G/f wants sex too much!

Well, I have been in your girlfriends position.

I took it very personal when he didn't want to have sex, too. All you hear all the time (and me being used to guys more my age) is that guys want sex ALL the time. Like all you have to do is drop your panties, and you'll have dick in .1 seconds.

And thats how the first few months were, of course, all relationships are like that. Now we have sex about 3 times a week - for the longest time, I wanted it atleast once a day, if not more. And I realised (in hindsight, not at the time) the harder I tried to initiate, get him going, the less attractive it was for him. Also, the more frustrated and concerned I got. The less it worked, the harder I tried, the less he wanted. Our sex became shitty. Samething, all the time. No effort or passion.

So I gave up. I layed right off, and didn't give two shits, and started to feel really crappy about myself - thinking clearly I wasnt attractive enough. And low and behold, when I wasnt pressuring him, he wanted sex more. And it was GREAT sex. Good enough to satisfy me even though it wasn't every day. And it's stayed that way. I'd say maybe once a month now we're on a different page on when to have sex. And when we do have sex, it's excellent. He initiates 50% and I do too. It's not all me anymore, and he's MORE than willing.

The point of my rambling is, talk to her. Tell her how it's less than attractive to be dogged for sex, and that it has nothing to do with her. If the spontenaity is gone, and you know its coming, its just not fun anymore. And - you're right, if your sex is the same, chances are she's bored too. One great night of sex = 5 nights of monotonous sex. Come at her, suprise her, do it before she even mentions sex and make it GREAT.

This will let her know you are still attracted, and if she lets you come to her a little more, she'll be pleasantly suprised. She might lay off a bit.

Had my boyfriend talked to me instead of just saying "I dont know, Im just tired all the time" it wouldn't have taken us over a year to get our sex life back on track. She probably feels like you're not as attracted, so she tries hard to get you attracted, then gets pissed when it doesnt work, and you get turned off. Fix it.

3-4 times a week is more than enough, if the sex is good. Sometimes we still go through months where the sex is the same, and honestly 3-4 nights ISNT enough because I am not satisfied. But when the sex is great, even once a week is okay for me.

This same issue almost ended us, so you'll really want to talk about it.

I used to be like that. I wanted sex all the time. If i didn't get it, i was rather upset about it and wondered what was wrong for me. It ranged from me not being good enough in bed, to not being sexy or pretty enough and him just not being attracted to me. he claims it was none of these things, that sometimes he was just tired and was happy just to spend time talking. But i needed him to have sex with me so i could prove that i was sexy enough and that he was still attracted to me.
Now we've given up sex all together, and we have to find other ways to communicate that desire and attraction that doesn't involve sex. Its actually been rather rewarding. I don't find myself so needy anymore. I don't need to seduce him to prove I still have it. Although giving up sex all together takes quite a bit of commitment, and you probably don't want that anyway.
But my point is that alot of girls measure their worth by the sex they get. I don't think they aware that is what they are doing. I wasn't aware i was doing it. But it might be worth investigating other ways to let her know she's still attractive and desireable and sexy, even when you aren't shagging her.

I dunno... I think giving your lady a good lay once a day at least isn't asking too much.

WARNING THE FOLLOWING IS NOT A SERIOUS REPLY:

If you want when you're tired/not interested I'll fuck her for you

WARNING THE ABOVE IS NOT A SERIOUS REPLY, THE SERIOUS REPLY IS BELOW:

I dunno, i'm usually in the opposite position, I have a really really really high libido, so its usually the other way around, to the point where the girl has to ice herself due to soreness.

though LB is right in that a few times a week that's amazing is better than every day as a routine.

Well I have no sound advice but maybe try fucking her so hard she can't take a dick for the next three days.

I guess unattractive was the wrong word. I was referring to the sex, anyways, not the girl. Maybe tell her it makes sex less appealing, when its infront of you all day and you don't have to work/try to get it.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (LittleBit @ Jun 1 2008, 04:21 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

I guess unattractive was the wrong word. I was referring to the sex, anyways, not the girl. Maybe tell her it makes sex less appealing, when its infront of you all day and you don&#39;t have to work/try to get it.[/b]

That sounds like the thing a lot of women (note. A lot. Not all. So yes, not you.), especially a woman who has just been denied, might take as an insult.

Honestly, after you&#39;ve been denied several times your head goes straight to all the things that are wrong with you, if you&#39;re not given an honest explination. Being too tired only works for so long.

I must be bad in bed. He&#39;s not attracted to me anymore. He doesn&#39;t love me anymore. He&#39;s cheating on me. Somethings wrong with my body. etc, etc.

Sure it might not feel nice to be told you&#39;re laying it on way too strong and it&#39;s having the reverse affect - but it&#39;s alot less insulting than the things you can come up with in your head.

And it solves the problem alot quicker. Might make the sex life a little non - existant for a week or two - but thats better than having a crappy sex life for the next year.

I&#39;m like your girl.

And in my past relationship it was always an issue that he was too tired. We only had sex when he wanted, and when I brought that up he said, "Well you want it all the time, so it&#39;s when you want it, too"

Asshole. Thats why he&#39;s my past and not my current.

What I&#39;m trying to say is, my fiancee and I have sex every single day, and it&#39;s great every single day. And it&#39;s something new all the time, too, and you have to keep trying different positions and different places or sex can get boring for anyone. Sometimes it&#39;s even as simple as watching a porno together, or introducing in some toys, or when I straighten my hair my man goes crazy because he feels like he&#39;s with a different girl and we both have fun playing strangers. Keep it fun, keep it light, keep it something you both enjoy because when the point comes that either of you are doing it out of obligation, why bother?

Every day is not a lot, and I know you&#39;re tired, we all have things in our life that make us want to just fall in bed at night and die. But, sex is an important part of the relationship. Not only to make you feel close to each other, but to make HER feel desired and sexy... every woman wants to feel like her man can&#39;t keep his hands off her, and when we don&#39;t feel that way we are crushed... and then it just gets bad from there. The whole dynamic of the relationship changes, and trouble comes.

So, I hope that helped!