Time in between

**Fruity** · 09-26-2008 03:20 AM

Just say you started seeing somebody new? is there a certain amount of time that you would be uncomfortable with knowing that they were with someone else? I don't even know if that's phrased correctly or if it makes any sense.

So two friends of mine met at a party and they hit it off and they get along well. However, she actually arrived at the party with another person (who had left before she started hitting it off with someone else) and i know for a fact that she shagged him that morning before coming to the party.

Would anyone else feel uncomfortable knowing that the last person they shagged was the morning they met you? is there a certain amount of time that makes it acceptable? I suppose its not something people would usually talk about when they first meet, or ever in a relationship. Some people get so touchy about that. But its the sort of thing my friends and i talk about. I was just wondering what other people thought.

(yes, my friend did used to be a giant slut)

**JessicaLynn** · 09-26-2008 04:35 AM

Let's see how I go answering this while being tremendously occupied by my cheese pita.

I don't think I would want to be with someone who had had a one night stand that morning (or was with a FB, there are still strings no matter what people try to tell you). I also wouldn't be comfortable with dating someone who was dating other people as well - it would make the whole experience demeaning knowing you're one of two or more girls getting scrutinised, followed by the inevitable slaying of the weakest link.

I think more people would care about this and find this a NEGATIVE thing than people who wouldn't, hah.

**LittleBit** · 09-27-2008 11:23 AM

I think these things happen a lot more than people would like to think they do - and thats why no one wants to talk about it.

I don't think there's really an acceptable time period - I think thats the risk you take when you have random hook-ups or one night stands. Don't know what makes people think that when they enter into a one night stand/random hook-up it's a one off for the other person. You could simply be #7 in a week of one night stands.

I'm not against one night stands or random sex, but there is a definite ick factor if you really think about it.

**Aimee** · 09-28-2008 02:02 AM

Enough time to shower in between?

**LittleBit** · 09-28-2008 12:23 PM

Haha thats what I was thinking. I'd be 100 time more disgusted with the person if they hadn't showered.

**Tequesian** · 09-28-2008 01:25 PM

Eh, I could live with it.

Sure there are situational variables, but basically it boils down to what the relationship really is. I presume we would be talking about a woman I had just met and would not know well enough to make any decisions about a future with. So basically, I have to accord her the same priviledge and freedom I expect from her. I would not presume to tell her she could not meet me after hopping out of someone else`s bed anymore than I would tolerate her telling me not to do the same.

If there is some sort of yich-ey feeling about this, well it would be a good time to be presentable for a more exclusive arrangement then. I sort of feel better about wearing a condom when it is more to protect her from a surprise than it is to protect myself too, but I have to be fair in assessing the situation.

As long as everyone is honest about where they stand, I do not really see the problem.

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