Thread: flacid

we were somewhat drunk last night tho

Odds are good he's terrified of you. It's all good, you just need to let him know you really are into him and then have some patience. From the way you've described all this, he might be forgiven in thinking that you're going to get tired of him soon once you realize how "boring" he is. At least that's probably what he's thinking. How about toning it down and letting him find a comfort zone before jumping in the sack. Might require a little sacrifice on your part, but at least this sacrifice will be a constructive one (maybe for both of you).

thing is, i pushed him away at first, citing the need for a vag check up (i didn't tell him exactly why, but i was concerned about the health of my ladybits after the last guy i slept with, cuz he was a PRO in bed and this concerned me. so i got the go-ahead from my doc first..)

and it seems like he WANTS to fuck me, but things just aren't working. and i've contemplated saying something, but i really don't want to make matters worse. like if i ask "are you nervous?" is that going to be some kinda ego blow?

i mean, he has no qualms making out with morning breath, farting in the car, telling me secrets, and whatever else could be considered as being "comfortable"...

i can wait it out a lil while longer, but it feels HORRIBLE that my honeypot overfloweth for him, and... it's not mutual. it's weird, i've never dealt with this.

Problem probably is that it is too mutual - and too mutual too quickly for him. Mild whiskey-dick = staying power. Over-excitement = premature ejaculation. In my experience if a guy tries to prolong his ejaculation too long, he just can't anymore. If you're fooling around for 2 hours before having sex, in a brand new relationship, there is a good chance he'll come close a few times during those 2 hours.

Chances are too, it happened once and now he's nervous, so it's going to keep happening until he relaxes.

Try instigating a quickie - see if cutting the time down to 10 or so mins, with no foreplay, can get him going. Maybe taking the pressure to go on forever, away, will relax him.

yeah. i'm telling lame jokes while his dick in my mouth. that is exactly the problem.


ret you're probably right. the awkward silence didn't do anything to help either of us. otherwise i'd just go with my initial thought of time curing all, and not post about it. hah.
one of my gfs said i should talk to him about it, and ask him what turns him on- in a neutral setting. what about that? maybe give it a lil more time, and then bring it up? this is the longest in a while i've gone, being in any kind of relationship with someone, and not having sex. and not having the sex work at least on the dude's end...

hmm. that seemed kinda slutty/easy. lol. ... at least i have a vibrator. /and on the subject, i really wanna order that lil finger vibe from trojan. those commercials are hillllllllllarious.

Now.. I just want to mention something that came to mind when I read this. I could be wrong, blah blah blah..

You've written to us about how you were so nervous he wouldn't be as good in bed because he was 'smaller.' And how you were hoping you were wrong, that his skill would make up for his size, etc.. is it at all possible that he somehow picked up on your worries, or that he had them on his own? And thus was trying really hard to make things perfect and mind-blowing to convince you he wouldn't be mediocre, but it backfired?

I'd think you should talk about it.. I mean, as far as it being an ego-blow.. obviously he has to be aware of what happened, and obviously he knows you know what happened.. so I don't see how talking about it would hurt his ego any more than it's already been hurt. This is a good opportunity to begin a track record of having good communication in bed.

what a fun convo that's gonna be. how exactly should i bring this up, you think?

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Tia @ Jan 13 2009, 01:38 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

so I don&#39;t see how talking about it would hurt his ego any more than it&#39;s already been hurt. This is a good opportunity to begin a track record of having good communication in bed.[/b]

I think that talking about it could certainly hurt his ego even more then it&#39;s already been hurt. Guys do like communication in bed, this feels good, that doesn&#39;t feel great, oooh your cock is so hot, blah blah blah. They like feedback, yes, they don&#39;t like to talk about how they can&#39;t even keep it up long enough to get feedback.

He was probably intoxicated, and maybe all the components plus the alcohol made it a little weird for him and it just didn&#39;t make it. Probably a one time thing. I wouldn&#39;t talk about it unless it happens repeatedly and then I think it would be more of a break-up discussion then anything else.

i wouldnt talk to him about it unless you have exausted every possible option. it will just make him even more nervous next time you two try and fuck.

try sex in the day time or with the lights on
try different positions
dress up all sexy n shit
talk dirty while your fuckin

heres a personal story pertaining to this subject

I had an issue with my keeping a boner up with my current girlfriend and we were both dumbfounded for a good week. we came to find that the lube she bought was that tingle shit with menthol in it and it was killing my boner. got new lube and it all works well now. it actually happened a 2nd time when she got free condoms from the health clinic and they were the Durex Preformax ones. she did realize they had the same menthol lube on them. such a relief when we realized this... she had this whole long talk with me about if it was because i was nervous or if she didn&#39;t turn me on and all it did was fucked with my head a lot.




oh yea! almost forgot of a 3rd time that may have a similar cause.

when i get colds i tend to lose a lot of sensitivity in my dick. my girlfriend loves it obviously but sometimes its so bad i can lose boners. we stay away from sex when i have a bad cold for this reason.

oh yea, another.

does this guy do codine or robotussin regularly? both of those will effect your ability to get a hardon for like a week. i did robo and codine once in the same week, couldnt fuck for almost two weeks.