Thread: I turned down sex

I'm going to try and make a very long story short. Once upon a time (ten years ago), this girl dated a friend of mine whom I know from racing and through my high school friends when he lived in another state, then eventually moved here, and started dating one of his friends, also a racer. She dated the guy for four years, and cheated on him with a third racer, and possibly with the first guy as well. They eventually broke up two years ago, and the three of them who were part of my race team were kicked off to minimize the drama. Rumor has it that she got an STD from one of the two guys she cheated on, and I've heard that from racers, and the friends of mine who know her outside of racing.

Anyway, girl dates another guy for a year, and he dumps her about two weeks ago. I have had a love/hate relationship with this girl. We have a lot of things in common, but we have butted heads online with ugly results. We had some heated exchanges and both badmouthed each other to mutual racing friends. I rarely saw her over the past year, but we post on the same racing forum. Once she got on Facebook, we started really getting along. She invited me over for a party two weeks ago, which I went to. Since she is single, she had an anti-valentine's party last night. I was invited to it, but was reluctant to go because her ex was going to be there (he still has a thing for her), and because I can't have the race team know I was associating with her. The rest of the racing forum, however, would eat this shit up. They all want to bone her.

She kept bugging me all week, and I kept saying maybe. Yesterday evening I told her I wasn't going to go, and made up some lame excuse that I didn't want to drink after taking aspirin or something. She kept bugging me, so I changed my mind and showed up around 10:30. We didn't interact too much, well, at least no more than anyone else in the room. Towards the end of the night I started to fall asleep on the couch, when she asked if I was going to stay the night. I said yes, because I didn't feel up to driving 45 minutes. I was buzzed, but not drink, and incredibly tired. As she was getting sleeping arrangements together for the 5-6 people who were staying, she asked if I wanted to stay in her bed. I said yes. We go to her room, and she puts her arms around me, thanking me for coming over,and that there was a reason why I was the only straight guy, aside from her ex who was there (whom she has made clear in no uncertain terms she is not getting back with). I looked into her eyes, and we started making out. She pushed me on to her bed, and we continued to go at it. She was actually a disappointing kisser. Then, the following exchange happens:

"So are you really a virgin?" (my forum title for awhile, which was set by the mods and I couldn't change, was Virgin)
"Does it really matter?"
"Yes"
"Yes"
"Do you want to do this?"
"I don't think I can do this tonight."
"Is it because you are waiting for love, because if it is, I totally understand."
"No, that isn't it. I really wish I could explain, but I can't."

She asked if I wanted to go home, and I said no, because I didn't want to deal with what the rest of the guests would see. She said she couldn't believe that me of all people rejected her, and semi-jokingly said I was an asshole. She kept asking how to get me to be less shy, and I said I didn't know. I told her I was in disbelief I said no as well. My anxiety was going through the roof, she was clinging to me and couldn't believe how twitchy I was. She realized I wasn't falling asleep, so we started talking through the night. Somehow it came out that she has slept with two more of my friends, a racer in the south (who was/still is in a relationship with the mother of his 18 or so month old at the time), and a racer on the east coast. I asked her about the cheating situation (which we've never talked about), which she explained. No mention of disease.

Having sex with five of my racing friends is weird, but not the worst thing in the world. The one ex being in the same apartment, also weird (he was going after some random girl who was there and got her number the next morning, but I could tell he was clearly agitated, he still has a thing for her). My anxiety was bad, but since she found out I was a virgin, that took some pressure off. But, I just couldn't get past the thought that she might have an STD. The racing friends said two years ago it was "something that you just can't take a pill for to make go away." My other friends said it was something that doesn't effect men, but makes a female's period hurt like hell (HPV?). I obviously didn't have any condoms, I don't know if she did, and I was too intimidated to bring up the subject of STDs. Not only in the heat of the moment, but afterwards, when we were talking. It just seemed inappropriate

I don't know what to think. I really wish I stayed home. I wish I would've not spent the night. I didn't realize how incredibly hot she was (she slept in a bra and thong, and her body was an easy 8.5+) until it was too late. She doesn't seem over her ex, but she also is interested in other guys, swears she wont date any racers anymore, but seemed to be really agitated that I resisted her advances.

The next morning we went out to breakfast after everyone left, hugged each other, and said we'd see each other later. We'll hang out again, but I don't know in what capacity. She is cool, and in many ways, a female version of me. Irresponsible, attention whore, barely interested in kids or marriage, stockpile 90s Japanese cars in our garages, and we really have gotten along lately. That being said, there is a ton of baggage and I don't know if I can handle it, especially the un-addressed STD issue. The fact that she has done so many of my friends, is prone to cheating, and not really the kind of girl I could bring home to my conservative family.

If nothing comes out of this, I'm fine, since I'm on the fence wit my feelings on her her anyway. For as many racers who would think I'm a hero, there would be just as many who would possibly shun me, at and least two I wouldn't be able to talk to anymore because their girlfriends' hate her for being a homewrecker. I'm really hung up on 1) that I passed up the opportunity to get laid, and 2) the embarrassment I feel personally, and the fact that eventually, somebody from that forum is going to find out. It'll never get discussed publicly, but she'll tell someone, who will tell someone, and it'll be known that I really am a virgin, and I turned down sex with her for no disclosed reason.

What do you think?