Thread: Can't orgasm..what do I do?

can you make yourself cum without toys?
Or have you tried use toys during sex with other people?
How about a vibrating cock ring? that might help.

otherwise, it might be something psychological. I used to find it quite confronting to hand over responsibility of your sexual satisfaction to another person, and would just rather do it myself.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Fruity @ May 12 2009, 08:14 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

can you make yourself cum without toys?
Or have you tried use toys during sex with other people?
How about a vibrating cock ring? that might help.

otherwise, it might be something psychological. I used to find it quite confronting to hand over responsibility of your sexual satisfaction to another person, and would just rather do it myself.[/b]

yeah, I can cum without toys too. I would like to try using a sex toy in bed with my man, but unsure exactly what to do, and unsure how to introduce it to our sex life.
I think it might be psychological too, but when I try to clear my mind of being so worried about cumming I just think about it more.

How about some sex toy tips for two?

maybe go to a sex shop together and you can pick something out together.
I think the vibrating cock ring is great. becuase you have sex like normal, with the addition of vibration! my partner hates it though. Apparently i no longer feel the need to move, while he has it on, and he feels that defies the whole point.
You can also get the vibrators with the a seperate controller, so he can turn it up and down, tease you with it. That might give him some control too, rather than feel like he&#39;s being replaced with a toy.

How do guys feel when girls want to introduce toys into their sex life? My guy doesn&#39;t have a problem with it, but i can imagine that some guys would.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Fruity @ May 12 2009, 08:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

maybe go to a sex shop together and you can pick something out together.
I think the vibrating cock ring is great. becuase you have sex like normal, with the addition of vibration! my partner hates it though. Apparently i no longer feel the need to move, while he has it on, and he feels that defies the whole point.
You can also get the vibrators with the a seperate controller, so he can turn it up and down, tease you with it. That might give him some control too, rather than feel like he&#39;s being replaced with a toy.

How do guys feel when girls want to introduce toys into their sex life? My guy doesn&#39;t have a problem with it, but i can imagine that some guys would.[/b]

That&#39;s great advice. I&#39;ll work on talking to him about it, he should be fine with it if he knows I&#39;m into it. I&#39;ll see if it helps and get back on here, see if their are any other suggestions at hand.

I&#39;ve been having sex for 12 years. I&#39;ve never had an orgasm from sex. I&#39;ve come close, but that&#39;s about it.

I&#39;m not too bothered by it, though. I still enjoy sex very, very much.

i feel very very ripped off when i don&#39;t have an orgasm, and have to really control myself not to say nasty things to my partner when it happens. There is more to sex than orgasms. Apparently

Yeah eeer...Being someone who has only had three (holy piss I can count) occasions where I didn&#39;t orgasm during sex I see it as a necessity..

My only thoughts on the matter is I know if you try hard enough you can eventually orgasm within SECONDS of you masturbating...I don&#39;t understand why the same principle couldn&#39;t work with sex.

Fruity seems to be on the money. If that&#39;s too hardcore try ribbed condoms and menthol lube. Tinglyyyyyyy. Oh and get stoned. Probably help 1000%!!!

The only way I can come during sex is when I&#39;m on top, playing with my clit while we&#39;re sexing. Have you tried that? I had to do that for ages and ages before it actually happened...but now it happens everytime. That might help if you can&#39;t give away the control...this way, you&#39;re still in control, but they&#39;re contributing too.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Aimee @ May 13 2009, 01:09 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

I&#39;ve been having sex for 12 years. I&#39;ve never had an orgasm from sex. I&#39;ve come close, but that&#39;s about it.[/b]

What the fuuuuuuuuck. If i couldnt feel when my girl orgasms i would think she was lying to me.


Its psychological in my opinion. Its hard to give people advice on sex when they have a psychological barrier. Is it how sex plays out do you think? Do you like to be dominated or like role playing and you just havent been in that sexual situation yet with a guy? I gave this 21 year old girl her first orgasm ever because she was into some freaky shit and all the guys she hooked up with prior were too shy in bed. Lack of foreplay maybe? If you get off easier with clit stimulation as opposed to g-spot/penetration stimulation just make the guy go to work on your clit while hes sexin you up. Double stimulation almost always leads to an orgasm quickly. Try new positions. I have had issues with finishing during sex and the second we switch it up i bust, girls have this problem too.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Fruity @ May 13 2009, 01:57 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

i feel very very ripped off when i don&#39;t have an orgasm, and have to really control myself not to say nasty things to my partner when it happens.[/b]

wow, me too! i get extremely pissed off! and then i have to take deep breaths and tell myself it&#39;s just an orgasm. it&#39;s just an orgasm. weird huh! my body hates that.



i think gone is right, it sounds like a mental thing, and it&#39;s tough to advise someone on that. in fact, when i first started really having O after O, i don&#39;t even know what broke the seal. it was just like BAM now i can orgasm nearly every time, and now i&#39;m shooting for multiples in succession. that&#39;s what&#39;s next on my sexual to-do list.

i can tell you tho, when i was rarely having them, i was with guys who intimidated me to a certain degree, and i wasn&#39;t comfortable being completely myself around them. i was more concerned with arching my back just right and playing into whatever fantasy i imagined they would want. does that make sense? i still enjoyed sex tremendously, but i couldn&#39;t completely let go and enjoy fucking.

and then another little mindfuck for me is this: something that really sets me off is when he tells me he&#39;s about to come. and then it&#39;s almost like a race to the finish line. actually, him talking to me at all can be huge. a lil while back, he was just laying on top of me, inside me, saying the nastiest things to me, and i was thisclose to spazzing the fuck out. it really surprised the both of us, and he asked me if i came and i said allllmost and he was like yeah i felt you tighten up like crazy! and then i licked his balls. awww.

anyhoo, i think a lot of the sex-O is the connection with the other person and how comfy you are with yourself. and what syco suggested aint a bad idea either. if you&#39;re both a lil fucked up, it can relax you tremendously. something to think about.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (sprankified @ May 14 2009, 01:17 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

i can tell you tho, when i was rarely having them, i was with guys who intimidated me to a certain degree, and i wasn&#39;t comfortable being completely myself around them. i was more concerned with arching my back just right and playing into whatever fantasy i imagined they would want. does that make sense? i still enjoyed sex tremendously, but i couldn&#39;t completely let go and enjoy fucking.[/b]

Forsure.

Sprank covered the comfort issue on a person to person level well. You must also be comfortable with the location which your having sex in. Where your comfortable with varies from person to person. I personally have had sex in a lot of strange places... i almost always finish though.

To have great, great sex you need to be into it 100% mentally. If shit is falling off the bed and breaking, it distracts you and takes you out of the zone. If other people are home then your always worried about being too loud. When are you the loudest? When your about to orgasm. So, by "toning it down" when you start to get loud, your cutting off the mental state which is leading you to a good orgasm. Location is always a big part of sex. Make sure that your 100% comfortable with where your having sex and keep you mind in it 100%.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (MakeMeSomeFoodHo @ May 15 2009, 01:53 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

I suggest you have sex with a black man.[/b]

Mmmmm massive cock....