Your mind can only hold one thought at a time. Make it a positive and constructive one.
~ H. Jackson Brown Jr.
I've been thinking about this topic on and off all day. One of the things I don't want to do is project my own past on to your situation, penny-lane. Trionix did make me think - if there is no issue with attractiveness but you still end up as 'little sis' or 'one of the guys', perhaps there is more at play here.
So, it makes me wonder.
I know from my own experience with my father that inter-personal intimacy was really hard for me. I never heard "I love you" growing up from my father. I'm not saying that that is your issue. But it did mess me up when I was approaching guys. Like I said, I don't want to define you by my experiences. I'm just saying that our individual histories can and do determine how we deal with relationships.
I've read and re-read your first post very carefully. It seems that it is missing some information. You seem to have a pretty good head on your shoulders. If you aren't lacking in the attraction department, then something else is at play.
You have a lot of good intentions, or wishes, but they aren't working for you.
Perhaps I am overthinking it, but is it possible that being the 'little sis' and 'one of the guys' is a more comfortable role for you, less confrontational or stressful? I don't know exactly what makes me say that, but it's just a feeling. Especially in light of my own history. It was very hard for me to be intimate in light of the neglect I dealt with. It works differently for different people.
Maybe I'm way off base, but like I said, my thoughts have turned to this topic quite a bit today.
Your mind can only hold one thought at a time. Make it a positive and constructive one.
~ H. Jackson Brown Jr.
heeh, you know if your a girl and you dont wanna be treated like that the best thing to do is to give the guy your into a real deep kiss instead of the normal hug.. its a confidence thing i think. like your afraid of getting rejected or maybe your just shy in that apartment. also dressing your role if you wear the normal casual clothing while hanging out with boys thats how they are going to see you but if you dress the im sexual way guys wont think about you as just a friend.
Zerosum
wow rubytuesday i think maybe your onto something there, also like you my father has never told me he loves me, but i've never connected it to relationships with boys. i am the type of girl who is shy, but i'm independent and like to think i don't need a man, i was never really interested in relationships at highschool i mean i had guys ask me out but i preferred to just be friends and i guess i soon became the "friend" to all the guys now i'm out of high school and i guess thats all i know how to be "the friend" i'm not really looking for a relationship i just think if it happens it happens. i've moved out of home i see my housemates sleeping around with boys and their dissapointment when the guy doesn't call.
I given it some thought of what you and franco said and i think also i've probably been bumping into the wrong kind of guys i don’t do it intentionally i just some how meet the assholes. i don't give them what they want but i know what they want and it pisses me off when they realise there not gonna get it but then they don’t want lose me for some reason so they want to be “friends”.
And to Gutter and to just answer some other questions i’m not a tomboy, i do dress like a girl, i don’t dress skanky but i am feminine i wear dresses half the time, i exercise, i wear some makeup, i do my hair i take pride in my appearance. I mean maybe my hips are too big but i’m working on losing weight in that area.
I don’t want to sleep with just anyone i want to be in a meaningful relationship with someone who loves me, but so far i haven’t met a guy whos willing to wait also when i do meet a guy who is willing to wait i just never seem to be interested in them more then a friend. I dunno i think i’m going of topic here nowmaybe the real question for me here is why have i never had a boyfriend?? i seem to get a bit of reaction from people i've just met such as "you!? have never had a boyfriend??" they look at me in disbelief or "a girl like you??? never had a boyfriend" now its got me wondering "why have i never had a boyfriend, is there something wrong with me?"
so now maybe i'm hiding behind the excuse well all guys seem to want from me and girls is sex?
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also to gutter well i've tried kissing one of my guy friends who i kinda liked, he kissed me back, he says he thinks i'm hot and everything but i'm his "friend" so yer that didn't work![]()
whens the last time you gave a guy your number for a date?
Zerosum
i dunno maybe a couple weeks ago, actually going on date with him this week. see how it goes![]()
Maybe this is the problem? Girls put out way too fast these days, and then they wonder why the guy won't communicate with them? What ever happened to playing hard to get? Guys love the chase. If you make it easy, they won't feel challeneged or want to pursue you. You did the right thing by not sleeping with him. Stick to your guns. The only way you'll ever really know if a guy cares for you or not is if you wait.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div>11:20 PM [Bebesit4free]how do you turn your head like that?
11:20 PM [Retro] i want to have sex right now
11:20 PM [Greaser] badbebesitrthatfucksthefatherwhenthewifeyisaway
11:20 PM [Like2Spray] easy,,,just turn your head from side to side!
11:20 PM [Greaser] that should be your new name
Uh, not all of us like the chase. It gets old fast.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div>11:20 PM [Bebesit4free]how do you turn your head like that?
11:20 PM [Retro] i want to have sex right now
11:20 PM [Greaser] badbebesitrthatfucksthefatherwhenthewifeyisaway
11:20 PM [Like2Spray] easy,,,just turn your head from side to side!
11:20 PM [Greaser] that should be your new name
um hmmm i think the only real way to know if a guys into you is if he brings you home to meet his parents if he doesnt your just at one and done.
Zerosum
Lies. I don't even introduce my best friend to my parents. What I do and who I do it with isn't their business.
haha gosu it does matter if your intrested in being more then just girlfriend/boyfriend down the road.
Zerosum
Sure. But you don't think about that for a long long time.
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