Thread: is it always about sex?

I've been thinking about this topic on and off all day. One of the things I don't want to do is project my own past on to your situation, penny-lane. Trionix did make me think - if there is no issue with attractiveness but you still end up as 'little sis' or 'one of the guys', perhaps there is more at play here.

So, it makes me wonder.

I know from my own experience with my father that inter-personal intimacy was really hard for me. I never heard "I love you" growing up from my father. I'm not saying that that is your issue. But it did mess me up when I was approaching guys. Like I said, I don't want to define you by my experiences. I'm just saying that our individual histories can and do determine how we deal with relationships.

I've read and re-read your first post very carefully. It seems that it is missing some information. You seem to have a pretty good head on your shoulders. If you aren't lacking in the attraction department, then something else is at play.

You have a lot of good intentions, or wishes, but they aren't working for you.

Perhaps I am overthinking it, but is it possible that being the 'little sis' and 'one of the guys' is a more comfortable role for you, less confrontational or stressful? I don't know exactly what makes me say that, but it's just a feeling. Especially in light of my own history. It was very hard for me to be intimate in light of the neglect I dealt with. It works differently for different people.

Maybe I'm way off base, but like I said, my thoughts have turned to this topic quite a bit today.

heeh, you know if your a girl and you dont wanna be treated like that the best thing to do is to give the guy your into a real deep kiss instead of the normal hug.. its a confidence thing i think. like your afraid of getting rejected or maybe your just shy in that apartment. also dressing your role if you wear the normal casual clothing while hanging out with boys thats how they are going to see you but if you dress the im sexual way guys wont think about you as just a friend.

le sigh.

whens the last time you gave a guy your number for a date?

Originally Posted by penny-lane

but i'm just going of from my own experiences and my friends. its seems once they sleep with you there done with you no more calls

Maybe this is the problem? Girls put out way too fast these days, and then they wonder why the guy won't communicate with them? What ever happened to playing hard to get? Guys love the chase. If you make it easy, they won't feel challeneged or want to pursue you. You did the right thing by not sleeping with him. Stick to your guns. The only way you'll ever really know if a guy cares for you or not is if you wait.

Uh, not all of us like the chase. It gets old fast.

Originally Posted by Gosu

Uh, not all of us like the chase. It gets old fast.

That very well may be. But how is a girl supposed to know if a guy is really into her or not? Him telling her? Ha! Actions speak louder than words. I'd say 80% of the time, if he sticks around, he's into her. Or he just likes the idea of waiting to get laid :/

um hmmm i think the only real way to know if a guys into you is if he brings you home to meet his parents if he doesnt your just at one and done.

Lies. I don't even introduce my best friend to my parents. What I do and who I do it with isn't their business.

haha gosu it does matter if your intrested in being more then just girlfriend/boyfriend down the road.

Sure. But you don't think about that for a long long time.