Thread: is it always about sex?

If more people waited, maybe the divorce rate would go down.

That's retarded.

Here's a sudden dose of reality:

Not everyone who has sex automatically gets married!! In fact, out of every sexual encounter ever, the VAST MAJORITY do not end up in marriage!!

Originally Posted by Trionix

That's retarded.

Here's a sudden dose of reality:

Not everyone who has sex automatically gets married!! In fact, out of every sexual encounter ever, the VAST MAJORITY do not end up in marriage!!

Golly gee willikers Tri. Thanks ever so much for that information....
What I'm saying is, is that those that do have sex before they're married face more problems...unwanted pregnancies, std's, men just wanting sex and women wanting commitment. What's the only sure fire way to know if someone genuinely loves you and wants to marry you? If you tell them you are waiting until marriage to have sex, they respect it, and they wait with you because they want to marry you. I'm not saying it's wrong for those of you who are having sex. I'm saying if you wait, you face so many less problems...
For example, I was dating this guy names Austin recently. I told him when we started talking that I was a virgin and that I was waiting until I was married to have sex. He said he respected it and that he would never pressure me into anything. He said later on that he really cared for me and that he wanted to continue our relationship when I got back from London. We were hanging out one night and we started making out. It got to that point of intense passion, to the point that I was thinking about having sex with him. But I backed off and told him it was getting too serious. He agreed...after that, he started acting weird, stopped texting/calling and communicating with me. I confronted him and asked him what was wrong. He claimed "Not having sex is too hard and you're going to London...I just think we should stop dating..." What would have happened if I had had sex with him? I would have ended up with my heart broken and given up something that means a lot to me. Waiting is basically the only way you know what someone's true intentions are. But that's just my opinion.

Golly gee willikers? wtf?

"What I'm saying is, is that those that do have sex before they're married face more problems...unwanted pregnancies, std's, men just wanting sex and women wanting commitment."
Are you a mormon? Or is your computer so lagged you're actually writing to us from 1948? That's a ridiculously sheltered way of looking at sex, in fact I'd go far enough to say that's almost a religious outlook on sex. Shudder.

"What's the only sure fire way to know if someone genuinely loves you and wants to marry you? If you tell them you are waiting until marriage to have sex, they respect it, and they wait with you because they want to marry you."
That's a worryingly insecure way to live your life, not to mention it's fucking boring as hell.

"I'm saying if you wait, you face so many less problems..."
Based on one or two stories that have no relevance to anyone other than yourself.

"For example, I was dating this guy names Austin recently. I told him when we started talking that I was a virgin and that I was waiting until I was married to have sex."
Ahhhh. So you're a virgin, so you're not even slightly objective about this discussion, and you have absolutely no idea what you're missing out on. Glad we have some perspective now.

Here's a story:

I had sex with this girl I met at a music festival. We hung out for a bit, had an amazing time, had amazing sex, and then said 'goodbye'. We both totally enjoyed it, neither of us ended up pregnant, diseased, heartbroken or dead, and that was the end of it.

How does that fit into your blinkered view of things?

Originally Posted by Trionix

"What I'm saying is, is that those that do have sex before they're married face more problems...unwanted pregnancies, std's, men just wanting sex and women wanting commitment."
Are you a mormon? Or is your computer so lagged you're actually writing to us from 1948? That's a ridiculously sheltered way of looking at sex, in fact I'd go far enough to say that's almost a religious outlook on sex. Shudder.

Actually, not religious at all. But thanks. It's just morals.

Originally Posted by Trionix

"What's the only sure fire way to know if someone genuinely loves you and wants to marry you? If you tell them you are waiting until marriage to have sex, they respect it, and they wait with you because they want to marry you."
That's a worryingly insecure way to live your life, not to mention it's fucking boring as hell.....So you're a virgin, so you're not even slightly objective about this discussion, and you have absolutely no idea what you're missing out on. Glad we have some perspective now.

How the f*** is that insecure in any way? You call me the less objective one and yet you won't even read my posts with an unbiased view? You've basically blasted every single thing I've said about this.You've had sex. Good for you. I have no problems with what you do. I'm saying I don't agree with it. I'm not being judgemental at all, saying all people who have sex are going to hell, blah blah blah. What's wrong with waiting to have sex? I don't care what you do. It's a personal decision for every person. I'm perfectly open to having a discussion about this. Almost all of my friends are not virgins, my siblings aren't virgins. I am not the least bit biased about this. If anything, you and everyone else except for Fruity and Tia have seemed to scoff at those of us who have decided we want to wait. Who's biased now?

Bebe, you stormed in here and announced that the idea of not waiting is bullshit.

You then offered the fucking retarded idea that if more people waited the divorce rate would plummet, like it's even relevant.

You then accused whoever of sounding like a three year old.

So let's not forget the context here, and you are NOT operating from any kind of morals, you are operating out of pure and simple FEAR that whichever poor bastard you decide to sink your tentacles into doesn't actually love you. Don't give me this moral highground bullshit, because that's not what this is about, at all. You are scared of a perfectly natural bodily function, the one thing that we are all programmed to do. Scared. Don't dress it up any other way.

People wait because they're insecure. Or they're hiding their insecurity behind religion, like Ester. Although, as Ghetto literally just said to me, "Girls are stupid in their insecurities."

True dat.

Morals don't exist in the decision to wait until marriage unless you're extracting that moral from religion. Sorry but it's true.

If you're just not "comfortable" than marriage has nothing to do with it, and you'll be fine with having sex with someone you get into a relationship with. I waited until I was comfortable, no regrets, no having to deal with the fact that I was "pressured". It was my decision.

I'm a reasonable, logical person. I'm safe about sex and so it's not going to cause problems for me. I'm also not getting married until I'm like 35. Sex is natural and there's no reason for me to feel guilty about it if I want it. And maybe it's just me but I'm quite aware of which guys just want to fuck and which ones think I'm totally super awesome and want to take me home to mom. But I certainly don't enter into any sort of relationship with marriage and long-term in mind so I have no need to be disappointed and heartbroken if it ends in a month or two.

im very sarcastic sometimes, and like to um taunt or antagonize people sorry if i sounded like a 3 year old for.. suckering you in. have a nice day you just made mine...

I love how this goes. People try to support generalised viewpoints on these things by saying "oh well it worked out great for this person I know and the opposite worked out badly for this other person, THEREFORE I AM RIGHT OMGOMG TAKE THAT". Thereby they assume their experience is typical and can be used to represent the majority experience without actually looking at the big picture at all. This only works in very specialised situations that aren't part of most people's lives. This is clearly not one of those.

The divorce rate has increased because it's now socially acceptable, as it should be after the puritanical religious bullshit has been largely cast off as a decision-making system. People don't see marriage as necessarily a life partnership anymore, which is also good as it's just a thing that entitles you to tax breaks anyway. It's a convenience. Hell, I'd argue sex and cohabitation actually more likely to help you stay married because you know what to expect. If you're sexually incompatible with someone it's going to suck to be married to them. Same if you can't live with them.

Basically you don't have any facts or even very basic logic, you're, as Tri says, acting on fear and bullshit traditionalism you've been fed and disguising it as morality - which is stupid anyway. Sex is fun and there's nothing wrong with it if done responsibly and there's absolutely no good reason to deny yourself. That's why it's stupid.

Isn't it all about making decisions that you personally are comfortable with and can live with? Fuck anyone else (pun not intended). Sorry, but that's the truth as I've come to see it in my old age. There is no one size fits all solution.

Originally Posted by Gosu

Basically you don't have any facts or even very basic logic, you're, as Tri says, acting on fear and bullshit traditionalism you've been fed and disguising it as morality - which is stupid anyway. Sex is fun and there's nothing wrong with it if done responsibly and there's absolutely no good reason to deny yourself. That's why it's stupid.

Yes...I am TOTALLY acting on fear. You caught me...I'm just terrified...You've got me totally pegged. You want to know why I'm a virgin? Maybe I want something to be special. I don't want to just give something up that personal and not have it mean anything to the guy I'm doing it with. Shoot, I just want to be in love when it happens. Is there something wrong with that? It's not religious. Throw it out there as much as you want, that has nothing to do with it. There is NOTHING WRONG with having sex. I haven't stated a single time thorughout this whole dumb, petty argument that you guys are going to hell or are going to be castrated. I'm not being judgemental. Screw as many people as you want, it's your life. Have at it. It's just bull for you to condemn someone like me or Penny-Lane when we say we want to wait. Like I said, it's a personal choice for everyone. And it pisses me off to see you guys saying she's "Dumb" for deciding not to do something she isn't comfortable with.

bebe, don't worry about what these people think. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. You have to do what is right for you. Its not going to be the same as everyone else, and its not worth getting into fights about it. Know that what you are doing is what you are comfortable with, and you don't have to justify that to anyone else.

Who says people who wait are 'denying' themselves? If they don't want to, they're not denying themselves. How can you deny yourself of something you don't want to do? You love calling opinions different from yours 'stupid,' instead of admitting that all they are is different. Is there a reason why you have to put other people down while making your argument?

Why is it so hard for someone to just say "I had sex before marriage, and I'm still having sex before marriage, and I think it's great, but if you want to wait, that's an okay option as well" ? They're all options, they're choices, and people are allowed to make choices different from your own and, at the same time, not be contemptible idiots.

Sex is great and all, but sometimes that shit becomes overrated..

Edit: Possibly wrote this due to the fact that I had a limp dick past 3 times I tried to have sex with a girl ( Alcohol inhibitors) .. Feelin like shit.