Thread: is it always about sex?

Because you overlook the nice guys you say you want for the bad boys, probably without even noticing. The guys you say you want, you want only as friends. This question is one of the oldest in the book, google it, you'll find millions of posts telling the same story.

*waits for neo-hippie feel good answer: "well you see you have to listen to your heart...blah blah blah... what matters is inside beauty... yadda yadda... read men are from venus mars whatev... believe in yourself... wait and a royal prince will show up... etc etc*

Actually I'm going to have to somewhat agree with Franco on this one. It's all about your choices. There's tons of guys out there that don't behave this way. They may not always be the cutest or the coolest or the big jock type guy.

Also, well, don't sleep with guys so soon. If you sleep with a guy and you are going out for less then a couple months then you are asking for a bit of trouble. If you want more than a guy that is good for month and a roll in the hay then you will have to develop a relationship with one that doesn't revolve around a roll in the hay. This policy will probably limit your choices, but not as much as you think. You'll just get rid of all the guys that are focused on sex and nothing more... which is what you want from the sounds of it.

Guys aren't evil. Some guys can be assholes with the whole sex thing, but you have to be responsible for your choices in your relationships.

why does it seem that all a guy ever wants from girls is just sex?

That's usually only when the girl is hot with no personality.

How old are you?

hmm i think this thread might help you

Can anyone explain why a guy would do this??

Originally Posted by Trionix

That's usually only when the girl is hot with no personality.

This. Or when they aren't hot enough to keep around long term but are available until you find something better.

If you are being seen as "one of the guys" or have the "little sister" thing going on, I actually suggest a makeover. Not knowing what you look like, how your dress or how you present yourself I'm making a bit of a leap here. But, that withstanding, when guys see a gal as a little sis or one of the guys it usually means that they aren't physically attracted to her. I'm not saying you are ugly or fat - far from. What I am saying is that you are probably not presenting yourself as a feminine woman that they will be attracted to.

You don't have to go out and get a mini skirt, heels and bleach your hair. That stuff is artificial. But keep in mind what makes girls feminine and what attracts guys to femininity. If you're not in shape, start working out. If you never wear make up, give a little a try. If you don't put much effort into your hair, try playing around with it a bit. Don't worry about getting it right the first time and don't worry if you don't get the reaction you are seeking first time out.

I've been the little sis and I've been one of the guys. It wasn't a blast. But it was also because I didn't really put much into my appearance. I was awkward and a bit overweight. The thing is to accentuate the positive. If you've got a sporty body, show off the legs a bit. If you have nice hair, put some care into it. Nice lips? Throw on some lipstick. Just little things.

Lastly, this is just as an FYI. People smell desperation a mile away. It's a huge turn off. So while you want to put a good foot forward, don't go overkill. If a guy isn't responding how you want then move one. Don't go the 'friends' route. That position sucks. Respect and value yourself enough to not throw yourself at or pine for some guy that isn't attracted to you. There are too many fish in the sea and life is too short for that.

It'll take some trial and error. Don't feel ashamed or embarrassed if you don't get it perfect right away. It takes a while to figure out what works for you. It's all unique to each individual.

Also, I'm not saying change who you are. Obviously when two people hit it off it isn't going to work if one of them isn't being true to themselves. But when it comes to physical attraction, chemistry is the first spark. If you can give chemistry a helping hand by accentuating the positive, then you are on the right path.

People smell desperation a mile away. It's a huge turn off.

Unless you're a teenage boy smelling desperation in a teenage girl, in which case it's the biggest possible turn-on.

I don't think the issue here is that this girl needs to make herself more attractive. If guys only want her for sex, then the physical attractiveness is a non-issue, surely?

Dunno. I was there when I was younger and I wasn't anything to write home about. Oh sure, I was and am cute but I didn't display it. I was just a port in a storm for many guys in my attempt to get close to them. I let myself be used. Thankfully I'm not in that position anymore as it really sucked. Hah. Ah well, youth. Thank god I'm out of that one.

The strange thing about facebook is that pictures keep popping up from school.

Looking back now at the 'cool' girls who all the guys 'fancied', the popular girls who we all wanted to rub ourselves against, they weren't even that hot, but because we knew they were up for it, we flocked to them like flies to shite. They were the girls who'd had sex, or at least had been known to give the odd blowjob or two on a Friday night at youth club. The girls who actually kept boyfriends weren't in that 'popular' group, at all.

Not that I went to youth club. The only time I went, Atom and I got arrested. That's not as dodgy as it sounds.

These days, it's easy with hindsight and considerably more settled hormones to be able to say that none of the 'popular' girls are anywhere near hot anymore, but when you're stuck in the hot and hazy delirium of hormonal havoc, it's just the one thing that seems to matter.

Good point.

The skills for starting and maintaining a relationship are much more difficult to learn than how to get someone for sex. It's insane, when I look back from where I am now, at how much I didn't know. Relationships are more about trust, patience, forgiveness and communication. Sex is more about instant gratification.