Thread: Does Your Fear Rule You?

Does Fear Rule Your Life? Or Do You Rule Your Fear?
By Dragonknight a.k.a. Tom Gallagher

Now before you start reading this I have to say I am not a psychologist nor did I take any classes pertaining to this when I was in college. I am more of a student of the human experience than anything else. I have found that we can learn an awful lot about life more so from our failures than our successes. After all how can someone really know fire is hot until they stick their hand in it?

Would you consider that a failure or a success? That is a question that is going to be explored here.
Now someone might take a look at the person who sticks their hand in the fire and call them foolish for doing so, obviously because they burned their hand. While another person might commend the person for sticking their hand in the fire because they got out there and experienced something even though they heard that the fire would burn them. Obviously sticking your hand in a fire isn't a good idea but the experience in itself is kind of what I am focusing on here.

There is another question we should consider here. Is a success something that always has a positive outcome? I guess the first part we should look at here is what is a positive outcome? Obviously the best possible scenario would be the one where we get exactly what we wanted. If, however, in failing we learn more about ourselves, and how we should proceed with what we are trying to accomplish the next time we try, did we really fail? Consider a baseball player who strikes out because he swung to late. Sure he struck out but the next time he approaches the plate he knows he should swing earlier. What would you say to someone who never again steps up to the plate because they are afraid they are going to strike out again?

Fear is a very powerful thing. It can completely immobilize someone or it can be used to your advantage. Yes, fear can also be a tool. When I was in college I got involved in theater. I was a shy as they came and the idea of getting up in front of a large group of people terrified me. Indeed the first time I got up on stage it overwhelmed me and I forgot a bunch of my lines. However the next time I got up there I found that the fear I was feeling could actually be converted into energy. I used that energy for my performance and while I still didn't know much about acting I didn't freeze.

If I had never gotten back on stage again would I have succeeded at what I was trying to do? If I had let the fear that I would mess up again keep me from going back up I would have missed out on one of the most exciting times in my life. We all feel fear. In fact, anyone who says they are never afraid is in fact lying to you and for the very reason that they are afraid that you might think less of them for being afraid of things. I like to think I know some things about dating and approaching women, however there was never a time that I wasn't afraid when I did it.

I guess the big question now is: How does one convert fear into energy? For that I have no answer. In my experience everyone deals with it in their own way and my methods of doing it don't work on other people. Every time I feel afraid to the point where I consider not going forward with something a quote always comes to my mind. "Courage is not a lack of fear. It is going forward despite the fear."

We are all going to mess up in life. We are all going to fall on our faces at one point or another. All of us are in the same boat, no one is immune to being afraid and no one has all the answers. There is not perfect way to ask someone out. There is no answer out there that we can find that will make everything in life easier. Experience is, in my opinion, always a success. If you ask someone out in my eyes whether they say yes or no you have succeeded because you tried. You have learned something about yourself and you have learned something about asking someone out. There are a million "what if" question we can ask about any situation. The question you have to ask yourself is: Does your fear rule you? Or: Do you rule your fear?

someone seems to have been watching donnie darko religiously...

fuck fear, fear can suck my balls...suck em proper

if you're afraid of something, confront it, if you can't confront it...avoid it