One last thought, pseudo. Actually, it is more of a question, if I may. is what you are seeking, hmmm how do I say it without sounding like a real jerk. Is what you are seeking a means of replacing what you feel you lost. Are you feeling less of a person for loosing your faith and not being able to relace it? If I am on your toes, pseudo, by all means tell me to back off.



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After I decided I wasn't going to find anything there either because all of them make assumptions I realized I don't really have reason to believe in a soul or spiritual purpose because they are an assumption also, the one that was hardest for me to let go. I don't believe there is a specific thing for me to do to that "the universe" would instruct me and I will have to find my own "meaning". I do find it annoying, all that time I have been trying to "be spiritual" and find something that makes sense and fulfills me, I could've been, i dunno, taking science classes. Also, if I get moody I become sort of a nihilist. I think this maybe would not be if I had been raised and lived my life without the assumptions religions and spirituality had enforced... I would be better equipped for reality. So, yes, I think I was filling in the hole religion left (or explaining away the assumptions I still held onto) with spirituality. And now I've let that go because I feel it's a waste of my time worrying about ideas that might just be wishful thinking. 

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