well.... here's the story...
my boyfriend is moving here. he lives in texas and he was going to make the drive late chirstmas night. he started off fine, but near Fredricksberg (sp?) he fell asleep/passed out/blacked out or something, drove off a bridge thingy, rolled his SUV once, and hit a tree. I got the call from the ER in that town at 4:45 in the morning on the 26th that he was in the hospital. he was then transfered to a hospital in San Antonio and there he had surgery. but he's in such a bad mood now because a lot of his stuff was destroyed, like his big flat screen tv, his bed, his computer and monitor. and he keeps saying things like he's messed everything up things like that. i've tried to explain to him that any of that matters, and that the only thing that matters is that he's safe. how do i keep him from blaming himself and saying things like that?
"Edward turned away from them, and he was the burning man again." --- Breaking Dawn, page 223
Avatar courtesy of jesica
my book... srsly
Well you can't use a flat screen tv when you're DEAD. He's seriously lucky to be alive.
If I were you, I would be rather harsh with him. He's being way too materialistic and needs to appreciate the fact that he's still alive and functioning. Snap him out of his hissy fit. You care for him and all he really needs is himself and you. He can acquire more shit later.
"The deepest definition of youth is life as yet untouched by tragedy."
-Alfred North Whitehead
"Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world."
-Arthur Schopenhauer
I have to agree.
When I blame myself for things, people being too nice and avoiding the issue only makes me ignore them. When you just confront someone and tell them they messed up, but just move on or quit bitching, it tends to snap people into place. It's weird, but true. Also, a lot of people that play the blame game are often looking for sympathy of some sort, and when you just do the opposite, they tend to get over things.
This isn't always the case, I know, but I'd be curious to know why he blacked out in the first place. Regardless, it sounds like stupidity on his part, and I don't think I'd be too kind when speaking with him due to that reason.
I agree, sounds like he's in shock and caught up in the drama. He could be looking for sympathy... or he could just be quite traumatised by the whole situation and unable to cope rationally.
He should feel blessed to still be alive to come be with you. Tell him that you'd rather have him alive than some stupid TV and give him a good verbal slap!
It's all too easy when you've been through something traumatic to be a victim about it... if the people around him let that happen!
He's probably doesn't even realise he's doing it... he's just freakin out at what has happened.
Tell him to count his blessings, then give him a big hug!
<span style="color:blue">"In the eventide, it villifies... the moon pulls her aside, and tells her where to lie"</span>
Blacks out, goes over a bridge, rolls and then lives to tell the tail?
He's prolly just thinking about the other stuff because his living through it is too....either traumatic or too shocking.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Saint @ Oct 9 2008, 05:38 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>You can probably set her straight with a GOOD HOT DICKING.
Well, it is his fault and he is also lucky that no one else was involved but he is human and made a mistake. We all make mistakes. He can't dwell on it because everything pretty much was fine. And you can't force him to see it that way but you can keep reminding him that it could have been alot worse.
I am sure if something more serious had actually happened, he wouldn't even be thinking about the TV. But because nothing serious really did happen, he still sort has the luxary that he can worry about it. I think that is pretty normal.
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