Thread: Return of the Ex

hey, im sorry to hear you got fucked over man.
its easy for me to sit here and tell you that these things happen man. beacuse no doubt this has broken your heart for sure. but the last thing you want is to turn into this bitter old twisted man just because some two bit ho screwed you over. you did the right thing. you were faithful....
so that puts you one up already dude. so i guess you should carry on that way. be virtuous.
you dont need to fucking glass the ****.
i guess the real problem is that she mixes with your social cricle. since i dont know how your social circle works i cant really give you much advice on that front.
but just try not to turn into a bitter fuck about it.

Thin line between love and hate. And it doesn't help that she hurt you so deeply.

You are correct in that trying to make your friends choose is an untenable position. It wouldn't serve any purpose but to alienate just about everyone making them feel like they have to walk on eggshells around both of you. You are also correct that it wouldn't do much good to be an asshole about it all.

I do like the idea of bringing the new girlfriend over but there's pitfalls in that too because it could also piss off your girlfriend when it becomes obvious to her that you are shoving her in the ex's face and using her to hurt the ex.

There's a long history there so it's not like I can just say try not to show anything but I think that's what you have to do. I think you have to honestly do everything you can to rise above the situation and to let your anger/hurt/bitterness go. Ultimately it would be the healthiest thing - not the easiest thing, but the thing that would serve you best.

I'd avoid drinking much around her simply because it will be harder to maintain the necessary self control.

I'd also try to develop some kind of coping strategies. Things like reminding yourself that she is a cheater, how much you love your new girlfriend, how happy you've been with your new girlfriend etc.

Maybe also really look into the times in your life when you were with her. Is she really someone you could spend your life with? Was your relationship built around being mutual security blankets for each other? Was she really 'all that' and more? Or did you build her up in your mind and heart? Try to see that both you and she are only human, that mistakes were made. Try to see the big picture - or to invent one that you can live by.

Most importantly, try to put your well being first. What is truly in your best interest? It's like the ultimate in healthy selfishness.

These things should make it easier to put her and your feelings for her behind you. Time is the best cure but you don't have that option.

It's probably best to never see this bitch again, but if you do share the same friends, and avoiding her is not really an option, I would probably do the opposite and make a point to see her.

I would even invite her new boyfriend along.

I think the best way to get back at her is to not try and get back at her at all. See her, and show her that even though she cheated on you and left you for another guy, that you're not feeling sorry for yourself and that you've moved on and are better off without her. I mean you are right? You found another girl and are happy right? So without flaunting, just make that known as well.

And i agree with Ruby. You seem like a logical person, so when you see her, and old feelings start rising up again, just remember why you decided to cut contact to begin with. Realize that she's not who you thought she was, and think about how you would not have met the French love of your life had she not been unfaithful and cheated on you.

Yeah.. if you try to hurt her, it'll be obvious [to her, whether or not it's true] that you're still not over here, and she has power over you.

If you're ridiculously civil and friendly then she'll be left thinking "what? he doesn't seem crushed or bitter at all."

Dude looks like you need to learn how to forgive yourself from letting shit like that happen fuck yesteryear tomorrows a new day and the best revenge you can possibly do is living well and do it for reals not as a front

Thank you everyone, that was exactly what I needed to hear.

I've often prided myself on my ability to change my opinion or emotions regarding something when I know that I need to, and now is one of those situations where I have to switch gears, and, to use Atom's eloquent paraphrasing of Jeremy Kyle, 'man up'.

I was the one in the right, and my only regret now is that I didn't pretend I wasn't hurting from the second she told me. That would have fucked her right up.

But I shall be Little Mr. Sunshine whenever she is around, and I might even venture into asking about her new man, and telling her how happy I am for her. I'll ask her friend how she is doing, and display absolutely no outward signs of negative emotion towards her, whether she is around to see it or not. Word travels fast in my town, and it'll no doubt get back to her that she has absolutely no power over me whatsoever.

Let's see how the **** likes that shit.

She may well not care. She's probably expected that you've moved on by now.

'man up' is such a good phrase

if you're going to be sunshine and lollipops to her, could i suggest that you don't solely do it from the motive of revenge (i don't really think that's what you're saying...but you might be?). you're not sure how much time in the future you're going to have to spend with her, fine if not much time, but if you end up seeing her most nights (which is plausible...) you might find yourself happier in the long run, if you actually get used to treating her as a friend again.

people are ****s, forgiveness is cool.

idealist claptrap i know, but i also think it's better to have an ideal to aim for.

Also, i never realised she suggested you stayed together when she got back from China. that's just bizarre.

good luck though man.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Greaser @ Aug 31 2008, 06:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}></div>

Dude looks like you need to learn how to forgive yourself from letting shit like that happen fuck yesteryear tomorrows a new day and the best revenge you can possibly do is living well and do it for reals not as a front[/b]

thumbs up. easier said than done, tho

&#39;the best revenge is living well&#39;

as much as glassing him would be soooo satisfying, not caring will be better

she is probably shitting herself wondering what your reaction is going to be, so if you don&#39;t show any emotion when you see her - other than &#39;hi, how you going, you look well&#39; - she is going to be upset
most girls secretly want the ex to fall over from jealousy when they meet their new man, so having no reaction will not only make her crazy, but will also leave her wondering why you aren&#39;t behaving like a nutter

if your friends know what happened chances are they will take your side if the need arises

or you could just set their hotel on fire

the best revenge is not living well, it is you going "awww, hope they look and see how happy I am," only your the fucktard trying to get some old bird see you happy

nahskis, the best, tippity tip top way to get back, is to toally disgust them with the fact that they were with you

like call her up, invite her over to "talk"

when she gets over be watching TV and be eating 2 dozen boston cream donuts and washing them down with jack daniels. Just like, let the custard roll down your mouth on to your shirtless chest. Then you slopper some JD down and have a trickle fall across your lip, moving the custard down like a raft on a river.

lines to use mid bite-- "oh babe, remember the time we used to have, fucking, that time I fucked you in the ass on valentines day..."

pause midway through to remember that you need to pick up your 17 yearold girlfriend from track practice soon

yeah, make her pay!

Looks like she&#39;s gone into hiding. No-one&#39;s seen her about at all.

shite scared about seeing you? invite her out.