Thread: I Can't Be the Only One Who Thinks This is a Bad Idea

Being in a New York school, I haven't really learned any procedure on that; you'd have to talk to some poor schmuck from a no-fault state what they do with NY marriages. I feel bad for non-NY lawyers who have to deal with NY law.

From what I know, though, people can get no-fault divorces by leaving to go to another state by themselves. If one person in the marriage goes to another state and becomes a bona-fide resident (living there 6-12 months, new mailing addresses, all that stuff), they can bring an action in that state's court on no-fault grounds and then serve the other person in New York.

From there, the person remaining in New York has two options: appear in the new state, consenting to full jurisdiction over everything, or (more commonly) not show up and take a default judgement. If they default, the other state would only have jurisdiction to dissolve the marriage (because "people take their marriages with them"). But all the other stuff, like equitable distribution, custody, and property are still matters of New York and would be settled there. Someone who wants to be a custodial parent can't avail him or herself of the divisible divorce action. That means that one parent simply can't move out of state with the kids and expect to get full custody.

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I'm not a lawyer, and I'm sleep-deprived, so don't take anything I say here as legal advice.

i think i saw a movie once where someone was trying to get a divorce and what state they were in when the papers were served made some sort of difference, but i never understood why. Maybe that's why.

Either way, i was just curious. It won't ever effect me. I got married in QLD and i suspect you know even less about those laws.

Back on topic, you should probably see if you can sabotage this somehow if he doesn't come around.