Thread: Best friend moving in with girlfriend...

My first instinct is also that it's probably a very risky idea, but from the info you've given I can't really say if it's actually a bad idea. I don't know how mature they are or how real Marie's 'jealousy' is so it's hard to comment concretely.

Marie is really mature.
She's 23, strong discipline and morals.
Lives in AZ separate from her family.
Graduate from Indiana with a double major in Math and Accounting.
Owns her own condo and is about to close on a Toyota Corolla after forcing a sale for invoice.
She does have her insecurities though, but it might only seem moreso to me than other girls because she's so open with me about stuff like that.

Ashley, less so.
22, youngest of 3 by 8 years, still at home and in school.
Not very good with finances and budgeting, not very disciplined.

If anything, I see Marie getting annoyed with Ashley and kicking her out.

It's a disaster if you have an acrimonious breakup, but otherwise shouldn't be a big deal.

I don't see anything good coming from this. Personal opinion: You shouldn't be hanging out as close as you seem to be with the other chick. That seems like nothing but disaster coming.

Think about it: Would you REALLY be cool with your gf hanging out with another guy friend that closely? At first you might be, but 10 to 1 odds gets you in a few weeks, thoughts would be flitting thru your head and you'll be wondering what they are doing together so much. And now the gf and the "other friend" are gonna be roomies?? That would weird me the phuck out!

As to how to proceed with this, I don't have a clue. But I'll make popcorn and settle in to watch! Good luck man!!

I think it's really lame when people aren't cool with their partners having really close friends of the opposite sex, especially ones that predate them. At least half my good friends are girls, it's not like I'd even consider for one second not hanging out with them because someone was insecure. Either you trust your partner or you don't.

...why did they break up?

which is why i choose to not have girls for best friends, yeah it will be mega awkward if you guys do break up it will leave your best friend smack dab in the midst of awkwardness.. no beuno hombre

Originally Posted by Gosu

I think it's really lame when people aren't cool with their partners having really close friends of the opposite sex, especially ones that predate them. At least half my good friends are girls, it's not like I'd even consider for one second not hanging out with them because someone was insecure. Either you trust your partner or you don't.

IMO, it's not an insecurity thing, it's called respect. One does not, if they're committed to their partner, put themselves in any situation that's going to cast doubts on their fidelity.

Sorry, but that's bullshit. Consider the logical extensions of that position.

See, I'd agree if I wasnt friends with Ashley first. By like a whole year.
I've met girls after we started dating and I dont in any way let them get close.

There are quite a few 18 and 19 year old flirts in our large circle that really like playing with dreadlocks and what not, one of them has a paticularly sexy little body I might add.
Marie expresses her concerns and how she feels about what she observes and so I keep my distance from them.
Out of respect, because I have no stake in these other little flirts.

But it's different with Ashley.
I dont find her attractive and I do have stake in her; one of my best and most fruitful friendships.


I wouldnt be jealous either if the tables were turned.
My last two exes had guy friends they knew before me, and it didnt make any sense for them to like their friend for so long yet wait and then be with me instead.
Hell, the situation with my last idiot ex was probly worse.
She actually moved in with her best guy friend.
I wasnt jealous because he was a fucktard and in my mind there was no logical way she'd ever go for him over me.
I mean... it's me.

Another reason I think insecurity plays a role as well as trust.

Originally Posted by Gosu

Sorry, but that's bullshit. Consider the logical extensions of that position.

Sorry, but since you're "Oh so successful" with girls, I say you don't have a clue as to what the fuck you're talking about.

I find it interesting that you say you 'chose' your girlfriend over your friend. Because that's kinda saying that your friend was an option.

Originally Posted by Like2spray

IMO, it's not an insecurity thing, it's called respect. One does not, if they're committed to their partner, put themselves in any situation that's going to cast doubts on their fidelity.

When i was younger i would have said that it was quite possible to have opposite sex friends while in a committed relationship, but i'd have to agree with Like now. My husband isn't a jealous type at all, but I don't let myself get too close in my friendships with other guys. I don't share as much information, i don't spend too much time with them, unless its in a group setting. I mostly do it because i am the jealous type, and i wouldn't want him doing it to me, and he doesn't, so i return that favour.

Alright, seeing as you won't consider it, I'll do it for you.

Any situation that's going to cast doubts on their fidelity? Who gets to define that? If someone is massively insecure they might view even talking to another person or the very existence of opposite sex friends to be grounds for suspicion. What's the threshold? At what point does it become OK and who says so? I'm not even remotely willing to be held hostage to a standard that can have such whimsical interpretations.

My friends are my friends and many of them are very important to me. Many of those happen to be girls. You're crazy if you think I would, or that I should, even consider for one second jeapordising a close, or even trivial, friendship with them for some outdated value that acts to protect the egos of insecure people.