Thread: This shit is hard...

I'm sorry. Breaking up is incredibly difficult. It seems like you're doing a good job trying to find things to do. I've found that the best thing for me is to call someone I trust and care about and be completely honest about what I'm feeling. Usually, that person can talk me through it and recommend that I wait to contact the ex to make sure that it's not based on what I'm feeling right in that moment.

Good luck. And I don't know you all that well, but I'll PM you my AIM screenname. I think I'm fairly familiar with breakups....

Edit: Apparently, I'm not able to send you a PM. My AIM name is AimeeRI.

moved out of a nice apt me and the ex shared several months ago, shit does hurt, for faster recovery route go NO CONTACT, trust me on this shit do not respond to anything of hers unless its serious reconciliation. I'm on my way to becoming fully recovered and getting back into dating again. with time is does get better with NC if you don't its like picking a scab and prolonging any chance of emotional stability

Originally Posted by Greaser

moved out of a nice apt me and the ex shared several months ago, shit does hurt, for faster recovery route go NO CONTACT, trust me on this shit do not respond to anything of hers unless its serious reconciliation. I'm on my way to becoming fully recovered and getting back into dating again. with time is does get better with NC if you don't its like picking a scab and prolonging any chance of emotional stability

QFT.

I was in your place about six months ago.. it was my first breakup and it had been a very serious relationship, and I was utterly shattered. I really thought it would be impossible to get over it and ever feel even halfway normal again, to ever feel like myself again. But.. six months later, I'm doing pretty damn well. Surprisingly well, actually. I'm impressed at myself. I think you just have to remember that while it's going to hurt like hell for a while, it WILL get better over time. Just hold on to that and persevere through the hard shit. The good shit will come sooner than you maybe expect.

Time can't pass fast enough where i can be carefree about this whole situation.. Thanks for all the advice tho, it does help..

Yeah, this is what I had the biggest problem with.
(I’m having an unrelated déjà vu as I type this…)
For whatever reason we both wanted to keep talking, and she actually wanted to keep hanging out; like she wanted the romance and flirting without the relationship.
It also made it hard that we’re coworkers and she kept coming by.
It took about a month for me to stop checking her Facebook daily and concerning myself with her life.
Staying inside by myself also didn’t help, so I went out to pool halls, bars, clubs, camping/hiking trips, BBQs, rock concerts, hangouts, and caught up on the vast social life that you miss out on when you’re in a serious relationship.
Also while I was out, I got to talking to people about my ex and breakups in general.
It's interesting how we think our ex was so perfect for us, but if that’s so, why did you ever break up? It gave me the perspective I needed to see just how wrong we were for each other; it made me stop missing her.
What also helped was going out to clubs and venues and just getting hit on by random sluts and flirting with cute chicks and girls with boyfriends.
That kinds of thing just helps with future outlook, knowing you’ll be able to move on and not clinging to the past with that ‘I can’t do any better than my ex’ mindset.

So yeah, I agree with forcing yourself to just cut contact, and fight yourself to do anything else.
For me it was like an addiction, you just wanna cave so bad and send a text, or check Facebook, or call real quick and hang up, talk to her other friends, whatever.
You might feel like you regret not doing it, but trust me, you’ll be glad you put the distance between you two.

haha ... Since I left her, about a week ago I kind of started to miss my dog now and realized that we really didn't have that much in common... Do you all think that I should go and maybe pick up the dog from her house, sort of like a father picking up his kids for visitation? I would have taken the pup, but when we got the dog from the shelter she put her name on the "deed".. bitch

Or should I just forget about the dog, and maybe go adopt another? Grrr...

Stay away man, be strong! It's the only way you're gonna break the cycle.

Get another dog. It'll be hard and no it's not really fair but you can't open yourself up to that. You need to be away and 'dog visitation' will just keep digging at those wounds that need to heal up.

Gah I am going through this right now. I actually feel okay about the break up, I initiated it, but I still feel like shite. I didn't want to go out tonight because I feel like shit, now I'm alone on a Saturday night so I feel even more shit. I assume it gets better than this, but what if it does? What if I'm home alone every weekend? Being single is scary. I'm glad for Stupid Boy.

Well I broke and accepted her wishes to be friends, blah I got no balls.. Now I'll be around when some other dude bangs her brains out..

Smart move.

Haha, saying you can be friends is no binding contract. it doesn't mean you have to talk to her.