Thread: Racist Family

it might upset your family, but i don't see any way around it other than calling them on it and telling them its just not acceptable. Maybe they'll be upset with you, but they'll get over it, and its got to be better than them saying things like that to your daughter.

A friend of mine married a vietnamese girl. she's gorgeous. his family refer to her as the "gook slut" and think its funny. When his wife got pregnant they started making comments about the 'baby gook'. He decided he wasn't raising his daughter in that sort of environment and has cut off all contact from them. Walked out of the family business, and hasn't spoken to them since. He's back in australia now and I don't even know if his parents know he is here.

Maybe they have changed their attitude now after losing contact with their son, and missing out on seeing their only grandchild grow up, but there is no way to know for sure until someone makes the first move in that relationship.

hmmm... none of this sounds very promising, sorry. I hope it works out better for you.

When it comes to your kids, everyone is on the chopping block. The respect your elders card wouldn't even apply, and chink, no matter how you sugarcoat it is still a derogatory term and they need to know that.

When i was younger i used to go spend time with my cousins abroad. It wasn't uncommon for them to make remarks about me being British or whatever.
But its all jokes, i was a 'Roast Beef' and i ran with it. It didnt bother me, i knew they thought they were superior....
Only when they got older and started traveling did they realise just how hard it can be to be a foreigner in someone else's country....
Im kind of in two minds about your situation.
On the one hand you could exclude her from seeing your Fam becuase your worried she'll be hurt by the things that she hears and obviously you dont want your daughter to be a target for family mocking etc...Thats understandable. Cons to this might be that she feels even more different, excluded from her family etc...
On the other hand you dont exclude her from your Fam and your kiddo might have to be the brunt of jokes or whatever...
To be honest though, its hard to say whether you Fam are genuinely out right racists and they're making your kid the brunt of their jokes with malicious intent...
or whether theyre jst being stupid...What i mean is, like i said i was the brunt of the jokes for my family abroad..but to be honest i never took it too seriously as well as the fact that they inevitably grew out of that way of thinking as they got older and wiser. Not to mention now, whenever i do get the chance to see them we're always tight. We get on like a house on fire and always have a laugh. So excluding your kid from seeing your fam means theres a good chance they might miss out on some awesome times and it would hamper chances of them ever having the oppertunity to have bonds with relatives.
Have you actually talked to your Family and told them that they need to drop the whole racial thing?

I'm sure they loooove her to death, and don't think she's adorable just because of her slanted eyes. She is adorable, and there is no question about that. I don't think you should take her away from them, I don't think there is malice in their teasing, I don't think they would ever hurt her or talk down to her in any way. I wouldn't even call it racism because being racist has to do with hate, and how could anyone hate her, especially her family. They are clearly being stereotypical, and insensitive, but probably don't realize that they are being that way. It's like a parent teasing a child because she is chubby, they are doing it out of love but it will eventually led to that little girl developing hurt feelings and even a complex.

I know what you mean about being viewed as an uptight bitch if you say anything, but maybe there is a way to say something without seeming overly sensitive. Maybe next time a comment like that is made, make a teasing joke yourself about their heritage or culture, and if they get offended just laugh it off as they do. Teach them a little empathy. There are so many ugly people in the world, and Isabelle will more then likely run up against her share of them in her life. People who will be actuallly racist, and mean about it. Though you want to protect her from every form of hurt, it's just not possible. I think that if you approach them without anger, and with an earnest and sincere plea to cut out the deregatory terms when referring to your daughter, they will hear you and try to be more sensitive. This won't stop them ALL the time, of course, this is who they are and how they feel, but at least you know that you spoke your mind in an adult way and if you stop coming to family functions as much they will know why.