Thread: I don't know what to do with my life

get a job delivering news papers in the morning 7 days a week that would keep most people from being boozy and bring in extra money... besides that just find a job where they pay for you to further your education like best buy or home depot kinda thing and you can go to school for what you want to be, by the time 5 pm rolls around the only thing youll wanna do is sit back and relax.

I'm not really good with this heavy stuff sprank cos I don't have heaps of life experience. Have you thought about getting help for teh booze, like AA sessions or something?

Maybe in terms of jobs, a change of scenery would be good. If i had a kick ass fiance and we were in your situation, I would move us to Hobart to start a new life there.

In terms of priorities, maybe it would be good to tackle the drinking issue first, before the money issure. The latter is forcing you to face up to the former, if you get a job and have a sweet income coming in you might continue the same pattern with the spending on the liquor.

Good luck tho, we're here for ya. and we're free! yay.

i think not drinking is in part why i'm so fucking frustrated. it's forcing me to actually look at my life and ask myself "what the fuck are you doing? what do you WANT to do? where do you want to go?"
and i'm having a really hard time answering those questions because i haven't really thought about it.
i dunno that i really need AA. i've been to AA in the past, and it's not really my thing. the whole "higher power" thing is bullshit to me. i was 13 when i decided that there is no "higher power" and that everything you want is completely up to you. i'm not about to shirk my responsibility for my life for some higher power. fuck that. i'd hire a career advisor first. hah.

i totally think a change of scenery is what i need. and probably to steer clear of my father, who is just a whole other ball of wax.

and my fiancee is pissing me off too... first thing i did when i got up today was put coffee on and get moving on a job search. wrote an email, searched postings on a few websites... and he pops in a dylan documentary and then goes golfing... then wonders why i'm stressed out. i've had a pretty steady job this year, he works on and off maybe 25hrs a week at a pizza place, a bar, and a golf course. he's a hard worker, but it's like now that i'm home and i see how unmotivated HE is, it pisses me off even more. and i ask him "what do YOU want to do?" and he wants me to take charge of everything and make the decisions while he goes golfing?!?!

good lord. i think i'm gonna go fishing and clear my head.

Breathe.

Yeah, most definitely get some kind of control of the liquor. You're on your way now believe it or not. Asking the questions you are is a great place to start. You're a smart girl. You're not going to answer "what do I want to do with my life?" with "spend it in the bottom of a bottle". Keep asking questions. Find answers. You're not an idiot. You can figure this out.

Sprank you little beauty, fear not! I was in this exact same position at the end of last year and just like Ruby said, the very fact that you're now having these thoughts means that you're on your way.

There's nothing more frustrated when you're sitting at home feeling unmotivated then being around someone else who is equally unmotivated yet completely happy with it at the same time. There's nothing anybody here can tell you which will turn on that light bulb in your head but we can at least give you some encouragement.

We're not the same person but I can see some similarities between us so I'm just going to throw a something out there just to see if anything resonates with you.....

Part of the reason I lacked motivation for so long was that I didn't actually want to be motivated! I think it was a fear of making a long-term commitment to a career or a certain life-path and in turn cutting out the more spontaneous elements of my life which have given me so much pleasure (and pain!). I like to at least feel as though I'm free to make rash decisions whenever I feel like it and 'deciding what to do with my life' just seemed like the total opposite.

Secondly, the fact that everybody around me was trying to help me by suggesting things I could do with my life made me more determined to do absolutely fuck all. I can be pig-headed like that sometimes and I smoked weed to chase away the "you're being a dick" thoughts. I don't know if you use alcohol in the same way, but I definitely find that drugs of any kind really help you to cope with making bad decisions or no decisions at all.

It took me to move to Spain to have all of these realizations about how I needed to change my life so maybe a change of scenery is a good idea, even if it's just temporary.

I think that these feelings we're talking about have something to do with facing up to one of our biggest fears which might be the fact that we won't grow up to be the person we necessarily wanted to be.

Anyway, I won't waffle on. I'm sure that you'll find your path because like Ruby said, you're a bright girl and you're too smart not to pull yourself back from the edge.

Hope anything I said helped.

I don't have a lot of input on figuring out what to do with your life, but I do have some input on the alcohol thing. I don't know that you need to go to AA, but I think that quitting the liquor could definitely do you some good. You've told some pretty bad stories about your drinking (I'm not judging, because I've done the exact same things, if not worse) and I think it's time to lay off when it is negatively impacting your life. If you can cut back on your own, I see no need for AA. But on the subject of AA, I wouldn't write it off just because of the "higher power" thing. I've known people that have gone through AA (my dad included) and I've also read a lot of books that are related to it or at least include it. Everything I've read said that the "higher power" can be anything and doesn't have to be a religious thing. I've read that for some people it's as simple as their self worth. Just a thought in case you do decide that you need it.

Oh yeah, another thing which fed my apathy towards finding something to do with my life was the fact that due to my never really wanting a career, I always ended up in jobs I generally didn't like, working for absolute fucking losers who were about as intelligent as a shoe. The idea of doing that again just depressed me so my motivation vanished. After your last couple of jobs, I don't know if you might feel that way too.

There's not a lot you can get done if you don't have goals, if you don't at least have some idea what you want. So I think you need to figure that out first, and then figure out how you can realistically and incrementally do it. Once you have a destination in mind the motivation is self-perpetuating so long as you don't get to bogged down and you'll feel better about yourself as you get closer to it.

thanks you guys. i really appreciate your consideration of my madness. rock solid on day 4 sans booze! my boo's in with me, and it ain't easy, but we're getting better. it's both helpful and hurtful that we're doing this together, a couple of short tempers we have, but it'll certainly be better in the long run. maybe we can do cigs next haha

and i think i've begun formulating a decent plan... move back down south, get a job with the healthcare system i interned with, work my way up in the corporate office, and design a program that integrates rehab therapy with the humane society i worked at while i was in school.

i have a great network- one particular professor who'll sing my praises since i volunteered for relay for life with her- and she works closely with the whole healthcare system down there... and she LOVES my dog- let me bring him to class a few times hah!
i also learned on the hush hush (i'm great friends with a local reporter) that this particular healthcare system is about to unveil plans to build a state of the art cancer treatment center... which would eventually fit right into my plan of human/animal rehab...

AND it would be a great opportunity for my future husband since he majored in marketing, and this is going to create a lot of jobs! not to mention the option of grad school at my alma mater.

i dunno what i was ever thinking moving back to chicagoland... it's so expensive and i really dislike a lot of the culture. i miss the laid back feel of the south of the state. the fishing was wayyyy better there, too. and boon was happier... fuck, i honestly felt like i just *belonged* down there. i can't really explain it.

as far as goal setting goes, very on point. i think i'm coming out of a goal-less binge-drunk year, spinning. but i think i'm starting to feel a little more grounded with every passing day.

Secondly, the fact that everybody around me was trying to help me by suggesting things I could do with my life made me more determined to do absolutely fuck all. I can be pig-headed like that sometimes and I smoked weed to chase away the "you're being a dick" thoughts. I don't know if you use alcohol in the same way, but I definitely find that drugs of any kind really help you to cope with making bad decisions or no decisions at all.

It took me to move to Spain to have all of these realizations about how I needed to change my life so maybe a change of scenery is a good idea, even if it's just temporary.

I think that these feelings we're talking about have something to do with facing up to one of our biggest fears which might be the fact that we won't grow up to be the person we necessarily wanted to be.

this is huge, thank you brew. this nails what my dad does to fuck with my head (i get at least 6 calls and a dozen emails every DAY about pharma sales, compliance and consulting jobs... all things i don't want to do!)
i always gravitate to the past when i was most happy. working with animals, working with old folks... making jack shit... so i think i just need to figure out a way to bring those loves to a successful career... (see above )

again, thank you all for your encouragement. i do greatly appreciate it
and wish me luck in finding work in corporate... i emailed the head of PR to let her know i applied for a job on the website, and how much i'd like to get involved... she gave me rave reviews when i was an intern- said they'd implement my suggestions on creating a more cost effective survey analysis procedure (which wasn't even part of my internship)...... so i'm thinkin i may have a decent shot/ some good pull with the company....

Good Luck

how are things progressing