To Take the Job or Not

**emsgrl** · 06-06-2011 10:29 PM

IBM opened a new office in Iowa about a couple of years ago, about the same time that my family moved there. My brother got a job with them and has been working for them for a year and a half now. In the meantime, I moved to Colorado and am living with my boyfriend and his dad and working a (close to) minimum wage job at a tiny company. My brother suggested that I apply to work there because they are still short on people, so I did, back in February.

They finally got back to me about two weeks ago and set up a webcam interview a couple days ago with the person who would be my manager if I were to be hired. I'm not sure how the interview went, the guy was 20 minutes late, didn't have my resume in front of him, and only interviewed me for 10 minutes

I'm not sure what triggered this, but I'm starting to have second thoughts about taking the job if an offer is made.

Pros/Cons:
My asking pay was $2,800/month where my current pay is just over $1,000/month, if the hours are good.
The job includes medical benefits and a 401K, where my current one has nothing.
It's a company that you can start a career with instead of the dead-end I'm at now.
I don't have a degree and it may be my point of entry into the tech-world.
BUT
If I were to take this job, I would have to move back into my parent's house (honestly, a horrible situation).
My boyfriend and I will either have to do an LDR or he will transfer out there and only be able to work part time with the company he's with now and also take a paycut.
Even with my making more money, together we will be making less. Him and I would be renting an apartment that I would be splitting my time between because of the commute to work. My work-week would be spent at my parents' house.
I HATE Iowa. Hate, hate, hate. I'm a big-city girl.
Long-term, I've read that they aren't very loyal to their employees regarding pay and most anything else.

Eventually, my goal is to make it back to Southern California. If I take the job with IBM, supposedly I would be able to transfer out to wherever and my boyfriend would be able to stay with the same company he is with now. I'm just not sure it is worth it. I feel like this could be the opportunity of a lifetime for me, but it could also be one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made.

Sorry if this is a mess, I tried to make it as comprehensible as possible but my mind is all over the place about this right now. What would you do if you were in my position? Advice, opinions, ideas?

**Like2spray** · 06-07-2011 04:59 AM

They finally got back to me about two weeks ago and set up a webcam interview a couple days ago with the person who would be my manager if I were to be hired. I'm not sure how the interview went, the guy was 20 minutes late, didn't have my resume in front of him, and only interviewed me for 10 minutes

This is a huuuge red flag, especially if this is the guy you'll be working for directly. Also the fact you'll be moving back into the parent's house, since you've been independent for the last xx years. Definitely a style cramper lol.

What are your advancement possibilities at this new job? Will you have the ability to transfer to another location once you've finished a probationary period (I assume you will have one?)? Could you suck up the negatives in order to make that happen?

Good luck with whatever you decide, keep us informed!

**Gosu** · 06-07-2011 01:38 PM

$1000 a month as in $250 a week? Wow. I literally wouldn't work for anything less than 3-4 times that. I also wouldn't live with my parents in fucking Iowa for $2800 a month unless I knew I'd be out of there and making more money very, very soon. Need to find out exactly how long it would be before you could move back.

**zombie314** · 06-07-2011 02:02 PM

I'm completely oblivious when it comes to employment, so I'll ask this seriously; does it normally take companies that long to get back to an applicant? February to May/June seems like a very long time to return-offer a position.

I'm unaware what you do in your dead end job, but, as it is self-described by you as being that, perhaps you need to look at things from a further down the road perspective. You seem like you're serious with your boyfriend. Are you anticipating him being the money maker, with you working for additional income, while expecting you two to get married? I'm not trying to pry, or even be offensive, as it seems like you're happy in Colorado, but this is a very big opportunity for you at the same time. If you're content in Colorado and are finding that your relationship is proceeding in that sort of direction, and you don't think you need to be employed in a job that will force the two of you uproot where you are, then you have your answer. It's probably a very good idea, though probably not easy to bring up, to address this directly with your boyfriend, though. You seriously need to know what he feels about your relationship, and if this is a worthy endeavor for the two of you to take on (since he'll have to go with you to Iowa).

Following that, it might be worth your time to take the job, move in back home, and have your boyfriend stay in Colorado for a few months. That way he can make the maximum income at his job in Colorado, and you can see if you like working at IBM, and if you can put up with Iowa. Thinking like an opportunist, if, like you said, you can transfer around to Southern California, you would be able to move to a location you desire, with a job already there to provide for you. Likewise, your boyfriend could probably find work there easily, and that would have made the entire IBM journey and position worth it.

It's important to consider that in this economy, you being offered a job by a seemingly stable company, in an area that is constantly important (technology), is probably something most people would greatly envy. And if this position is something that can easily lead to other areas of employment and higher salary, it seems well worth it to go after that position, especially since I gather you're really into computers and technology. What better way to earn an income than to be doing something that actually interests you.

The only negatives I see you presenting are moving back to Iowa, living at home, and what will happen with your boyfriend. Iowa...yeah. That sucks. But, maybe after a year or two of working there, you can pack up and head to Cali! Living at home...I don't know the situation, but if you can put up with it for a few months, save up your paychecks, and then get an affordable apartment, you can move out and hopefully never have to go through that situation again. You're mindset should be, "I go home to never have to go home if this job works out." Not, "Fuck, I'm moving back in with my parents." If this job pans out, who knows where it'll take you.

The last negative is a big one, but also seems like it's not entirely alien. If I recall correctly, you met your boyfriend online, so you've already done a long distance relationship thingy. It's lame, yeah, especially after you've now been in physical contact with each other, but if you can live at home in Iowa and he can stay in Colorado for a few months, like 2-6 months, you'll both have that much more money saved up to move into an apartment together when he transitions down to Iowa. I don't know what that's like, to have to be separated from someone that you consider part of your life, but that brief separation is, vaguely, like moving back in with your parents. It's an inconvenience to get to a much greater good. Potentially.

Also, if your boyfriend goes to Iowa he may be able to find a full-time position down there, which might negate the whole funds issue.

Anecdotal, but my cousin works IBM, and while I've never heard him praise it, he has been there for at least 5 years. One plus is that after a few years of working there, he was able to negotiate working from home once his wife became pregnant. That's a benefit of working with technology, you're not confined to a spot or building. I'm not sure what the position is that you're offered, but something like that could be exceedingly valuable in your future.

Honestly, I think you've been offered a good opportunity, in an area you like, and the only downside is that it's so remote. But if you can get by it, imagine where it might lead you.

PS - Hope Vegas was fun.

**Like2spray** · 06-08-2011 09:36 AM

Zombie brings up good points too, but seriously, remember......you already have a somewhat bad taste by the way you were treated in the so-called "interview". Every job I've taken that I had warning signs popping out at me, have not been good experiences. That's just me, but I've learned to listen to my inner voice.

Another thing I do when faced with a decision such as this is to grab a legal pad, draw a line down the middle and put plusses on one side, and negatives down the other. Go all out and put them all down, then it makes it easier to weigh it out.

**emsgrl** · 06-08-2011 07:24 PM

As far as moving back with my parents goes, my relationship has improved with
them immensely since I've moved out. My parents and family fight an insane
amount and before I moved out, I was given a date to move or they said they'd
put my stuff out on the curb. They also told me I was the reason the family
fought all the time and once I left, everything would be wonderful. (It's not.)

I truly don't know the advancement possibilities at the job. I would be being
hired on as an entry-level systems security specialist. Basically, maintaining
their clients' servers and making sure they're up-to-date. I wouldn't be
getting a raise for a while after being hired. My brother has been there almost
two years, got a 'promotion' and hasn't seen a raise yet. After a year and a
half, I should be able to transfer to another location.

I know I'm not making much now, but I'm working full time at around $9/hr and I
know it could be much worse. I'm also aware that $2,800/month is way less than
most in the tech field would get, but it's all most entry-level technicians
get.

It appears that as far as IBM goes, or at least the Dubuque center, this is how
long they take to hire new people. Honestly, I've heard they don't really know
what they're doing there and it's kind of a chaotic mess.

I currently work in a warehouse for a small, local toy store. I just got a raise to $9.25 and it's been made pretty clear by the owner that she doesn't plan on giving raises any time soon. I got an exception this time because I was making less than everybody else because of starting after them but now everybody is at the same payrate. The owner will not pay anybody $10+ unless it's one of the four managers and they don't get much more than that. So there really is no room for advancement here.

As for with my boyfriend, I don't mind who makes the money as long as we have enough to live comfortably. I've discussed this all with him and he told me that I should decide what to do and he'll go with it. Whatever choice I make we would be staying in the relationship together, and we have done long distance before, but it was for four months at the beginning of the relationship, not a year and a half after living together..so I'm kind of dreading how that would go. He loves me to death and would do pretty much anything for me, which is why he's leaving it all up to me. I don't want him to be moving to Iowa just for me and end up hating it and resenting me for it though. We've talked about getting married and whatnot but I don't really feel ready for that yet. I'm a bit more cautious after being burned by my ex, I think.

We were thinking of him staying here for a while, while I'm out there. I need to save for a car because mine had to be sold when I moved a couple years ago. He's working for Fedex right now and could transfer to a location in Iowa/Wisconsin/Illinois but most of those locations are smaller and only offer part-time work. He would be able to transfer to a larger location like the one he's at now when we move to California. I really don't want him to leave Fedex for me. He's been working his way up in the company for three years and I don't want him to throw that away.

I've thought about getting an apartment there, but with IBM opening the few apartments there are are going for INSANE prices. I'm talking $1,000+/month to live in this little city. Which is why I was considering getting an apartment near where my boyfriend could work. The rent is a bit cheaper but I would have an hour-hour and a half commute each way assuming the weather was good.

The more that I think about how that interview went, the more frustrated I am about it. I spent SO much time preparing for it and felt disrespected that he didn't give me a chance to even really present myself too much.

This is probably the hardest decision I've ever been faced with. I've been thinking about what to do for a month and still haven't got a clue what I'm going to decide. If I decline the offer, I may never get the chance at something like this again. I don't have a finished degree and I'm not sure how much better I can do without one. On the other hand, if I take it and move out there it's going to put a lot of stress on my relationship. It could possibly break us up. I dunno, it's awful. I feel like I'm having to pick between love and money. I almost hope that they don't get back to me so I can avoid making the decision myself.

**zombie314** · 06-09-2011 11:29 AM

You should probably ignore what I told you. It seems like the other two posters are noting it's not worth it to move for such a small salary, and even you stated you didn't get a great feeling from the interview. Plus, it sounds like the situation you would have to (briefly) move back into would not be pleasant. If you're comfortable now, there's no point in destroying that to move to a job that doesn't seem like you're too ecstatic about. If your initial feeling is anti the position, and you're hoping they don't even reply, you already have an answer. You don't want to stress over this too much.

It definitely does seem like a choice between love and money, and you're making the choice that you feel is correct for you right now in life. If you're secure with your boyfriend, there's no point jeopardizing your relationship over a job that isn't screaming at you. It makes perfect sense that you wouldn't want to take it.

If anything, interpret it as a good thing IBM took so long to reply, as you've probably become that much more serious with you boyfriend from the time you applied to the position up to their reply.

**emsgrl** · 06-09-2011 05:58 PM

I do appreciate the advice from everybody

The extra money would be nice, even if it's not much for the job. It'd be over double what I get now. I also miss my little brother so much and it'd be nice to see him more. I just don't know that it's worth it. I'm also really good at doing the comfortable thing and I think part of me is trying to figure out if I'm convincing myself out of it due to my being scared of change or what. So it's really nice to have all of your input on it too.

And it's true, that I've had to really think about my relationship because of this and figure out what it means to me.

They still aren't supposed to get back to me for another week or so, so I have a little bit more time to think about it. I'll let you guys know what I decided when I figure it out, ha.

**Gosu** · 06-12-2011 05:58 AM

$9.25 an hour is an insulting joke and the subborn refusal to give anyone raises and that oh noes $10 is so much is amazingly outrageous. Companies like that shouldn't be allowed to exist. $2800 a month is also too low and it's a huge risk to go all the way over there for it. Can you finish your degree and then have better opportunities?

**emsgrl** · 06-13-2011 09:04 PM

I agree, it's pretty ridiculous. The owner encourages a high turn-over rate which I just don't understand.

It's possible that I can finish my degree. I was hoping I could wait until I got back to California for that because I can take the classes for under $30/unit while here, it's thousands of dollars. I don't qualify for financial aid because my parents make over $100,000/year and apparently it doesn't matter that you don't live with them or that they aren't going to pay anything towards it. Maybe I could find some scholarships I qualify for.

I do wish I hadn't been pursing an AS in Administration of Justice. I don't want to be a police officer and I'm not sure what else that degree will get me.

**zombie314** · 08-03-2011 03:01 PM

Did anything further happen?

**emsgrl** · 08-09-2011 06:29 PM

Sorry! I got really busy with life, ha. I ultimately decided that I didn't want the job.

In the meantime, my manager got fired and I got a raise. I'm feeling better about where I work for the time being. I'm now at $10/hour which still isn't a ton but it's an improvement and morale is higher.

**Fruity** · 09-12-2011 11:28 PM

Sounds like you made the right decision. Good for you!

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